A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:Hi, me again!As you know my 2 year, long distance relationship ended almost 4 weeks ago when she decided she couldn't cope anymore... I don't know if it really feels like 4 weeks ago... It feels like such a long time ago in some ways, and in others it feels like yesterday.I've noticed how my moods seems to go up and down. One mintue I'm perfectly happy and possitive that things are gonna get better, and the next I just want to contact her and find out how she's feeling. I hate not knowing how she's feeling about everything. This isn't because I want to find out if she wants to get back with me (because she's made it clear that she doesn't), it's just, well, a few things. It's force of habbit for one thing, we used to speak every night of the week for the past couple of years, and now I haven't spoken to her for.. about 4/5 days now (but it feels like much longer). The other reason I want to contact her is to just find out how she's doing. Part of me would like to think that she is struggling with this because I am; This has quickly become one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with.She goes out an awful lot. She did when we were together and she still is now that we're apart. This is probably helping her take her mind off things, but I wish I knew that she is still thinking about me. Is it possible that this person who, I thought, loved me with all her heart for 2 years just able to forget about me as easilly as I think she is? I think about her all the time, and now, part of me just wants to stop, because it isn't doing me any good at all thinking about it.Anyway, thanks for all the help so far, and if you could help me again now, I'd still be as grateful!
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (22 July 2007):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks very much to the latest posters, it's sounds like you can relate to me in some way, particuarly you, justaguy. I hope you're able to battle on with not contacting her. I know I'm doing my very best.It seems like it's such a shame that things like this have to end, and always the same: No contacting anymore. I miss her beautiful Northern English accent. I'm reminded of her all the time. I wish I could just text her and ask if she's doing ok, but it won't help. It's awful really.Anyway, thanks everyone. Keep 'em coming!
A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (22 July 2007):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your advice. I know that all this is pretty normal. Sucks doesn't it? lol.I certainly don't want to make myself sick over all this, but you all have summed up how everyone reacts differently. Some people can't even live with it, but rest assure, I am not one of those people. I don't even intend to get ill over it, I think time is already helping me, but it's just so easy to be left wondering how your ex is feeling. I think she's gonna get through this unscaved, and possibly won't even regret doing it. (Part of me hoped she would regret breaking off from me).In any case, many thanks to all of you thus far.
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (22 July 2007):
 Breaking up is hard for everyone love, but time will heal it, it may seem impossible and easy for me to say, but i've been here many times and when i was there, i also felt depressed and like the world was ending really, but you always bounce back and you are ready to move on. It will happen to you. Give it time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): Breaking up is really hard. What you are going through is pretty normal. My advice is 1. Do not contact her, you will get over her sooner if you do not do this. 2. Try not to think about her, easier said than done, but if you let yourself think about her all the time you may become obsessed and depressed. 3. Try to do things for yourself like going out wth friends even if you don't feel like it. Been there. This will pass but its up to you to help yourself now.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (22 July 2007):
 Do you know what, i went through exactly the same thing very resently except i had been with my partner for twelve years ever since i left school, so i knew nothing else.
He was going out all of the time and enjoying myself or so i thought but that was just his way of dealing with it.
I however sat around on my own thinking about everything, eventually with encouragement from friends and family i stopped the contact and went to see my gp, and they prescribed me anti depressants and they have worked wonders.
I have now lost two stone because i'm on the go constantly, because i don't feel so down and the only time i am sat down is when i'm doing this.
Everyone has different ways of coping with a split, but if you carry on the way you are you are going to make yourself ill.
Get yourself some help and stay strong, you will get through this and move on.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (22 July 2007):
Hey,I'm in the same boat at the moment! I know what you mean when you say it seems a long time ago, and in other ways it seems like yesturday. My mood is doing the same - one minute i'm ok then the next i just want to cry! I feel exactly the same when it comes to wondering how she feels - does it hurt as much for her????? I'm used to speaking to my ex, you know seeing how her day was etc. It hurts when i think she just could have forgotten about me!I'm trying desperatly hard not to contact her in any way, but its really hard, everyday i'm tempted to pick up the phone.If they want us back I guess they'll contact us.Your not alone on this one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): I sympathise with you especially at this difficult time. I have been where you are and it can drive you crazy. You will feel like this and your emotions are going to be up and down for quite sometime. I used to contact my ex after he finished things,it just made it worse for both of us and it took me longer for my feelings to heal.So my advice to you is no contact at all, phoning or contacting her will only prolong your pain, you need a clean break. I'm sure she's thinking of you and probably has mixed emotions herself. With any relationship as you stated it sort of becomes a habit and you get used to the contact etc. But when you are feeling lonely at these times it is best to keep yourself occupied. I wish you all the best and I assure you things do get better.
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