A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just a quick question. Could living with a friend turn out to be a bad idea? My freshman year of college, I became pretty much best friends with my roommate. We have so much in common and had so much fun together, that we decided to be roommates our sophomore year too. So far about a month into our sophomore year here, we discussed that maybe next year we should get an apartment. It would be cheaper and it could improve our 'responsibility skills', however I'm worried that living in an apartment could cause problems. In the dorm rooms, everything is provided for us. Hot water, food, furniture, plumbing, electricity, etc. But an apartment would mean providing all that for ourselves and for some reason I feel like it could lead to fights if one of us doesn't keep up with payments or something along those lines. I really don't want to lose her as a friend, but we both kinda want to try it.I feel that living together in the dorm room for 2 years is enough to know someone's routines and life styles, but still there's a part of me that thinks it could turn out badly and ruin our friendship. What do you guys think? Any bad experiences? Any good experiences?
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female
reader, desiree075  +, writes (5 October 2013):
You sound very smart and practical. I think you should discuss the possibility of things going sour with your future roommate, and talk about the best possible ways to handle awkward situations, should any come up. My roommate and I are great friends. But when it comes down to business and finances, we are unemotional about it. Get your own separate leases, if you can. You don't want anyone owing money to each other. Have a rule about food. With one of my roommates, we agreed that we'd share things like pasta, rice, bread, spices and onions, but ask before using vegetables or leftovers.One excellent theory another ex-roommate came up with is this: "If I don't notice it, it's probably okay." The trickiest thing is dividing household tasks. I know it's annoying, but it's good to sit down and make a list of who does what when. That way, it takes one discussion and you can get that out of the way. Before moving in, ask her what her pet-peeves are. Mine are unwashed dishes. For this I say, "Let's wash our dishes right after we eat. But if you are running late for work or are too stuffed after dinner, let's do them 12 hours within using them."I moved into an apartment with my dorm-mate after we graduated. She was really bad at washing her dishes, but she is still my best friend :) (I moved to a different city eventually).Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2013): It could but it sounds very unlikely. Unless of course you know her to be irresponsible and lazy about things. Do you bicker a lot now? Are you able to talk through problems that develop between you?
It's only a month in, and next year is ages away why make a decision now?
Besides you're going to have to do it at some stage, might as well be your best friend. There'll be hiccups, there always are but you've experienced living together, you get on well and at the end of the day if she turns out crap at money management and or chores then they're not friendship ruining things. The worst experiences I've had were living with people I didn't know all that well. Living with my best friend worked out great even if he did end having to move out because he couldn't afford it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2013): I don't think you have too much to worry about really. Being roommates can be stressful too (somewhat cramped living space, differing schedules etc) but you're got over those just fine by the sounds of it.
Besides, you may well find yourself living in shared accomodation after you graduate, you may as well have the first time being with a best friend.
If you are worried about arguments, you should dicuss perhaps like a crisis plan of sorts, ie an aggrement of if you do start to piss each other off, how to calm things down. Also when moving in, make sure arrnagements are set in stone about all bills, private space, personal belongings, if whatever breaks who's responsible etc. that way you won't be arguing later down the road,
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (27 September 2013):
 I think it's a good match. In a dorm room, you have less privacy than if you live off campus. If you get along now, I don't think you'll have a problem when you move out next year. If there are issues, I think your friendship is strong enough to handle it. As long as the communication between the two of you is good and you're not lusting after each other's boyfriends...lol...just kidding, you 'll be fine.
I did this with my dorm mate as well when I was at university, and more than two decades later, we are still friends:)
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