A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my man have been together since may this year and i feel like he does not trust me. For example, yesterday i had to work and had only two dollars to get me to work and no money to get home. I called a couple of my friends to pick me up but they were all busy. So as a last resort i called my ex to come and get me. While i was with him my man called and I tell him i'm in a taxi.Now he is so angry with me he feels as if he can not trust me and thinks i lied about other things. How do I get him to trust me again ? How can i show him i am truly sorry and only want to be with him? And lastly what are the chances that he will leave after this one little white lie?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 November 2009):
But it's not that little is it. It's actually quite big. You were with your ex, and that is all your boyfriend will see. So the first thing is to delete your ex's phone number and never be in contact with him again, and the second thing is to ask yourself why you had to phone your ex and not your boyfriend.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (12 November 2009):
 Well look at it this way....what if the tables were reversed. If say for instance that your man had called an Ex to give him a ride.How would you feel.A lie is a lie is a lie.If you will lie about something seemingly so inconsequential, then what happens if you feel the need to lie about something IMPORTANT.Remember that perception is reality and your man's perception of you is pretty skewed and wiuth good reason.Actions and not words are the only way you can ever regain his trust. And now since your lied about this the price is that he will be questioning your every move. Sadly while you may find it annoying, you put yourself in this position. So think about being honest in the future.And I want to say hello to my throngs of fans who have obviously missed me and my caring and sunny attitude in my absence...(see what I mean about lies...THATS A WHOPPER RIGHT THERE! LMAO!)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): the first question that screams out to me is why didnt you call your bf first? I mean, i understand not wanting to walk home... and i can even understand why you lied... so he wouldn't freak out.. but, a lie is still a lie. now you have to fix it. So tell him the truth i didn't tell you cause you would freak. but now its worse cause hes freaked and cant trust you. had you said, hey i had to call my ex to give me a ride home all my friends were busy well there is not much to freak out about.
unfortuanatly when people are left with their own imaginaion we can come up with some pretty crazy tails and that is what he is doing now. Wondering what else you lied about will you lie about,,, blah blah blah....
So now you have to tell him the truth of why you didn't tell the truth...
there are only two keys in the door of relationships... trust and commuication... without either you can never unlock the true potential of the relationship.
remember this, sometimes the truth sucks.. but, its the truth and no one can ever fault you for it.. it is what it is..
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (12 November 2009):
 Did you eventually tell him that you had a ride home with your ex or does he continue to think that you were in a taxi?
If you told him that your ex gave you a ride home, I think that he has every reason not to trust you, you did lie, no matter how much of a white lie it was - how would you feel if his ex gave him a ride home and he blatantly lied to you about it? You would most likely be suspicious too!
There is no real way to prove that you are sorry, the only thing you can do is to not repeat the situation in the future.
I think that the chances of him leaving you over this are slim, but he will need to know that he CAN trust you and that might take a while to build again.
If you're going to work at a place that you're going to need money to get home from, you need to make sure that you have that money! That way you'll not have to rely on anyone else in the future to get you home and you'll not have to lie.
You should never feel as though you need to lie in a relationship and you should never have to feel that you cannot trust your significant other as he now doesn't trust in you.
I wonder if there are bigger issues at play here. Why did you feel the need to lie to him in the first place? Why did you not have the money to get home if it was such a small amount?
Talk to him, tell him that you're sorry but that you need to get to and from work everyday and that you and he need to help each other out to overcome the current situation.
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (12 November 2009):
Did you eventually tell him that you had a ride home with your ex or does he continue to think that you were in a taxi?
If you told him that your ex gave you a ride home, I think that he has every reason not to trust you, you did lie, no matter how much of a white lie it was - how would you feel if his ex gave him a ride home and he blatantly lied to you about it? You would most likely be suspicious too!
There is no real way to prove that you are sorry, the only thing you can do is to not repeat the situation in the future.
I think that the chances of him leaving you over this are slim, but he will need to know that he CAN trust you and that might take a while to build again.
If you're going to work at a place that you're going to need money to get home from, you need to make sure that you have that money! That way you'll not have to rely on anyone else in the future to get you home and you'll not have to lie.
You should never feel as though you need to lie in a relationship and you should never have to feel that you cannot trust your significant other as he now doesn't trust in you.
I wonder if there are bigger issues at play here. Why did you feel the need to lie to him in the first place? Why did you not have the money to get home if it was such a small amount?
Talk to him, tell him that you're sorry but that you need to get to and from work everyday and that you and he need to help each other out to overcome the current situation.
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (12 November 2009):
 Well your first call should have been to your bf to ask for help in getting home... now he finds that you have rather called on your ex for help...
I can understand that he is angry with you, but you are going to have to be very honest and open with your bf all the time if you want him to start trusting your word again.
You need to sit down with him and tell him you understand you did a very silly thing calling the ex for help and promise that from now onwards you will have absolutely no contact with the ex as you can see that by having contact with the ex it is changing things between you and bf... tell him that you are truely sorry and it will never happen again...
I dont think he is going to leave after 1 lie but you are going to have to do the work by proving that you are honest and trustworthy...
And... maybe in his eyes.... a lie is a lie whether it be a small one or a big one....
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