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female
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anonymous
writes: I have met a man on the internet about 4 months ago and see him about every two weeks as he goes on a lot of fishing trips and lives in a houseboat in Teddington. My concern is I do like him but am worried about his past although of course we all have pasts! He went to private school but spent two years working in a guest house in Amsterdam helping serve breakfasts. He now is very wealthy and as I say owns a huge houseboat with a male friend of his who is a partner in the fishing business they have. My guy smokes cannabis and when he goes out with his mates gets so drunk he is sick literally but when he takes me out he doesn't drink which I find very odd as I don't mind a drink. What is worrying me when I went on his houseboat last I saw he had a gun there which he said was to shoot any wild fowl if he had to when they went shooting. My friend keeps telling me to dump him and find someone else-but my guys insists he is all above board but must admit I am slightly worried. On the first date we had after half an hour he asked me back to his place for sex but declined although on the second date I did go back for sex and can tell he is very experienced as he would be having worked in night clubs as a male stripper which he doesn't do now as he is too old. I am undecided whether my girl friend is jealous because my guy takes me to nice places and he is loaded or whether her concerns could be viable and this guy isn't being up front. I am divorced with three children and do not want them to get hurt any more. Is it possible this guy is only smoking cannabis because it is the done thing with many people or could it go deeper into how he gets the cannabis? Angela
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
If he acts one way with his friends, and a different way with you, it is just a matter of time before the 2 worlds EMERGE or COLLIDE and you will see his true colours.I do not believe your girlfriend is jealous...it sounds to me like she is sharing her concerns with you as a Friend.She cares about you...and her "Radar" is not being fogged in by romantic feelings that you have about this man.Perhaps it is you that is overlooking Red Flags because this fellow "claims" to be wealthy & he pampers you.Pay close heed to what friends warn you about.Plus, if he wanted sex so early in the game, that implies he does not have a great deal of respect or self-control.He was also a stripper, so he was using to having A LOT of sex whenever he wanted...that's why he's so "experienced."Most of the time Friends advice is BANG ON & accurate.Keep your eyes & ears open around this new man & his friends...Birds of a feather flock together.Pull your head out of the clouds sweetie, and plant your feet firmly on the ground.Wisdom & caution in this situation can save much heartache.You have 3 little Angels to guard...protect their future !
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reader, becky05 +, writes (5 July 2005):
I agree totally with Helen05, this sounds like a shady character and its very suspicious that he wont drink in front of you. Maybe he does take you nice places etc but do you really want to get mixed up with a man whose stories dont add up???
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 July 2005):
 No, sorry, I'd be with your girlfriends - and your instinct - on this one.
He might have money, but you need to protect yourself from danger and protect your kids from bad role models. This guy sounds like a poster-boy for drugs trafficking.
A gun to shoot "wildfowl", eh? I'm no hunter, but even I know you use a shotgun for birds! This guy's lying to you, but the problem is that you don't know about what!
What this adds up to from your description is a guy with a shady past and an even shadier present. Please do yourself a favour and let him go.
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A
female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (4 July 2005):
Canals, Amsterdam, lots of money, drugs? I think you already know the truth. You know nothing about this man and all the signs are bad. There is not that much money in a small fishing business. Although many people meet genuine people on the internet, this man does not sound like one of them.
Take your three children into account and please stay away from this man. If i were your girlfriend i would be concerned too. i suspect he dosen't drink around you because he has secrets, and alcohol has a way of loosening the tongue.
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