A
male
age
26-29,
*teelhawk65
writes:Hi, I'm a 15 year old closeted gay, and deathly afraid of anyone finding out. And I was wondering if my friend could also possibly be gay? I know it's a long question and I'm sorry.My friend, "Mike", is 15, nice, makes good grades, an athlete, and probably one of the hottest guys I've ever met. He doesn't look or sound gay, but he kind of acts like he is.Well, I was suspecting he might be gay. I see him touch (non-sexual way.. I think) and hug other boys a lot. There's one guy in particular that he is always grabbing and hugging and stuff. But I thought, well since they're both on the football team, it might be one of those jock things.There's been a few incedents involving me, and one certain time just seems a bit gayer than the rest. We were working on a project for our world history class, and "Mike", some other kid, and I were joking around with each other about how ugly we are. The other kid went to the bathroom, and I said to him "You know I was kidding right? You're actually pretty good looking." I know it was a dumb thing to say, but then he said, "Thanks, I don't think you're too bad looking yourself" and he gave a little flirty smile. As the other kid was just coming back from the bathroom, we didn't say anything like that after he got back.There was another incedent that was a little strange. We were doing another project together, and I was laying on the floor. He lied down right next to me and got very close, to the point where he was squishing me in between the wall and him. It wasn't like he was trying to squish me or rough house, he just layed there for the rest of the class period. It felt so perfect, I think I could have laid there forever.He's never had a girlfriend before, but sometimes I see him talking to girls. The girls will flirt with him (and not to mention, it's the really pretty girls), but he seems to kind of blow it off.We hang out almost every weekend, and he's always the one to ask. But does he seem gay to you? Thanks in advance.
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male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (6 February 2011):
 At you guys age... it's really tough to tell. The whole sports/jock thing is probably more congratulatory in nature. But, just because he's a jock doesn't necessarily make him straight either. I was into sports when I was in high school too. Was popular with all the girls. I even 'dated' a few. Just to keep my cover. So you never know.
I suggest talking about topical things that are gay related. Bullying is a very topical issue right now. You can also talk about who he thinks is attractive... and/or if any girls are hitting on him... and what he thinks about them... but you have to be discreet.
Now, if you want to get more physical... you can always make up excuses to have him touch you... or you touch him. Make excuses... like my shoulders are really sore... I could use a massage. I'll bet he'll do it for you... and you can offer to massage him back. If he says he's really sore... you can offer the massage.
A
male
reader, Steelhawk65 +, writes (5 February 2011):
Steelhawk65 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ok thank you birdy. And for everyone else, let me explain the jock thing a little better. I thought that he probably isn't gay because they are both jocks. Sorry for making it unclear
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (5 February 2011):
 Impossible to tell from this I'm sorry to say... Have you ever talked about girls with him or ASKED if he likes anyone? If there is some kind of formal or event coming up - you could ask if he is going to ask anyone to go with him. Keep asking him a lot of questions, you'll eventually see a pattern and you'll have your answer. And the jock thing isn't necessarily an indicator of anyone being gay - jocks slap each other on the butt all the time!
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