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Could it be possible for my girlfriend to be absolutely unable to reach orgasm?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2010)
A male Puerto Rico age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months, we have both enjoyed great sex, and have done it 50+ times. The problem is that no matter what I do, she won't orgasm. We love each other very much to the point that we would both die for each other.

I have tried everything on myself to make her orgasm, from exercises to last longer without myself having to cum (I can now pretty much as long as I want to) to buying a vibrating dildo.

She has had 9 sex partners, including me, and none ever made her reach orgasm either. There was one before me that also made her feel extremely pleasurable on the g-spot and she described me the famous "I felt like I wanted to urinate" which I instantly recognize as the feeling that girls feel when their g-spot is stimulated. With me, she ALWAYS feels this sensation, although she is now able to ignore it, since she knows it is normal and that is the passage to orgasm. She absolutely enjoys it and wets her vagina a lot when she feels it, she's sometimes feeling it for like half a minute, but she won't reach orgasm.

Never, ever.

I'm really getting desperate, because I now feel extremely guilty when I want to orgasm myself, because sometimes we're making love for like an hour, trying everything to make her orgasm (we always have around 20-30mins of foreplay in which I make sure she gets really wet) but she just won't reach it. I now cannot enjoy my own orgasm because what's on my mind when it's happening is that she's probably disappointed and unsatisfied, as always. It makes me feel really really unsatisfied myself, it's just as if I had not orgasm-ed myself.

She says she has acknowledged the fact that she won't ever be able to come, but I still haven't given up. What should I do?

View related questions: dildo, foreplay, g-spot, last longer, orgasm, really wet, vagina

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A female reader, Madalo 1 Malawi +, writes (2 May 2010):

It would be unfair to dump her coz she cant reach her orgasm,its like leavin her coz she's sick or something.I'd advise you to seek help from a sex therapist.

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A male reader, TheDarkDoc Libyan Arab Jamahiriya +, writes (25 March 2010):

TheDarkDoc agony auntWell, i can't really help u with the orgasm issue coz i'm still virgin, but i can tell u one thing, if u both happy and madly in love DO NOT even think about breaking up because of this !! I know what love means and i think its bigger than this idea !!! Seek for medical advice !!! Go to a sexologist or psychologist !! They might help u !!!

Wish u two best of luck !!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

"Maybe it won't be a bad thing if you guys break up."

Maybe it won't, but I love her too much and too passionately to dump her because she won't have an orgasm. It would be the last thing I would do, she'd have to get really frustrated about it and blame me for it to make me consider breaking up with her, and the way things are going, I don't think she'd mind not knowing what an orgasm feels like ever...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010):

I had an ex-girlfriend once who could NEVER orgasm. This was a few years ago now, and I am glad I'm no longer with her! Being able to give a woman a mind blowing orgasm is a very important part of sex, and without it, the sex is lacking. I look back on the memories and sex seemed less emotional and more physical. She obviously had some deep issues about sexuality and her body and I'm glad I'm not stuck with her as a lover! Maybe it won't be a bad thing if you guys break up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010):

If there were more guys like you, this world would be a better place. Your girlfriend is so lucky to have such a dedicated, caring boyfriend. Kudos to you! Do you have a brother?:) Just kidding. Anyways, I don't think you should feel bad about her not having an orgasm, because it sounds like you have tried everything in your power to help her. Nobody can accuse you of being selfish. I've heard that some woman can't have an orgasm, but that is extremely rare. Maybe your girlfriend is one of them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I've tried also for the clitoral orgasm, I've went down on her, spent some good quality time, even watch videos and tutorials on how to give good oral sex and downloaded some ebooks on it too, to make sure I know what I'm doing it, and I do it pretty good IMO, she really likes it, she screams a lot for the pleasure but she says it's just not enough, I've also tried massaging the g-spot whilst stimulating her clit with my tongue but that's another no-no. As I said, I'm desperate!

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (23 March 2010):

Not My Name agony auntTry to give her a clitoral orgasm instead of putting things in her aiming for a g spot orgasm. Most women can have those easier. If that works out for her, then maybe get her a small bullet to use for clitoral stimulation whilst you are having intercourse.

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