A
female
age
30-35,
*lliebellie
writes:hi guys. i always rely on this site to help me with minor problems but recently so much as been mounting up and it has turned into one big problem. here it is.....:first of all: i dont know whether i have depression or not but i go through these horrendous mood swings. sometimes i feel so happy, so quickly and then i drop down to being completely sad. in tears and cant stop crying. like a yoyo. i have little self confidence and hardly feel i have the skill to do many things. i feel like so many things are piling up on me. sometimes it feels like i dont even know who i am. i say things to my parents which are really horrible and then a day later im fine. i switch so suddenly. i can go from suicidal to happy happy. it feels like i wear a mask to school. a happy mask to cover how im really feeling. i dont really like telling people how i feel. you know my inner feelings, but after a while it feels like everything mounts up and it starts to affect me not just mentally but physically too. i find it difficult to sleep and wake up feeling tired and drained. i was bullied about 2 years ago but not severly. enough to bash my confidence though. now i feel so worthless. i doubt myself and cry if something simple isnt right or i cant to something. e.g. if im finding stuff difficult i go into a bout of feeling crap or if people say the smallest of things to me i get upset so easily. i cant help it. i dont know whats going on anymore. i went to see a counsellor after i was bullied but i only went twice then stopped. she finished the sessions becuase she felt i didnt need to go anymore and i agreed. she wasnt ery good and just talked about my family not my feelings. since then i felt worse. i agreed with the counsellor bcus i didnt feel bad. it feels like over the past 2 years eveything has built up an now i dunno where i am.somtimes i question the littlest things i do.could i be suffereing from depression or anything similar to that? if so what should i do? bearing in mind i dont have the most understandable parents....#thanksplease helplolelliexxx
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female
reader, IntoxicatingLastBreath +, writes (17 January 2008):
 Okay hun awesome :]I hope to hear from you soon!And it's alright for the advice, any time (:~Krissy [x]
A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (16 January 2008):
elliebellie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhiya rcn! sorry im a bit slow at replying.
i can relate to your daughter though definetly. even the littlest stupidest things can get me down. im not that sensitive though and its only sometimes it happens. yeah the bully was having a crap time at home and i think she still is with her parents and stuff. i can understand. sorry i didnt mean to come across so rude in the last update :( i apologize....but thank you for your advice. its good to have someone like you looking at it when youve had experiecne with your daughter. i think that helps.
lol
ellie
xxx
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Good luck with everything. I mentioned hormones because of your age. My daughter, in a way is the same. The boy hugs another girl, or someone talks behind someone else's back, it's like the whole world just came crashing. I've gotten calls at work as well to tell me all about it.
The problem is bullying can lower your self esteem. People bully for many reasons, but a big one is, attention. Their life is lacking, so they try to lower other people so they don't feel alone in the feeling like crap arena.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (16 January 2008):
elliebellie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everyone!
thanks for reading my question.
xapathyxrebornx: thanks for sharing your experience. i know its difficult to suggest stuff for me but thanks anyway for trying.
rcn: thanks for your advice. my relationship with my parents is ok. i hide some thigs from them but not major and i dont really tell them that many things. i speak more to my dad becuase my mum normally judges me more.. their relationship together is great....i dont wanna be rude but im sick of people saying its the hormones. it seems lke such a lame excuse for everything. but yh whatever. deep inside i have let this girl go. i wouldnt say shes holding me back. the bullying over. full stop. thanks anyway
IntoxicatingLastBreath: hiya i might mail ya for a chat. thanks for the advice. ill definelty mail you if thats k.
Laura1318: thanks for the advice
cheeers guys
luv ya all
lol
ellie
xxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 You need to be at peace with yourself and your surroundings. Make peace with your parents and friends around you .
There are things which you can change and cannot change. You can try to treat others better and they will in return treat you back the same.
Do not judge yourself too harshly and forgive your limitations.You are on a learning curve.
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A
female
reader, IntoxicatingLastBreath +, writes (16 January 2008):
Wow
Its strange Ellie because i'm not joking you have like exactly the same thing i do lol
I know it's weird and stuff and if you ask anyone older than you they'll probably say it's your hormones, which it may be but it can't be certain that it is.
Can you think of anything exactly of what might have triggered it all off in the first place? even the smallest thing?
And councellors can be a load of bull really
I stopped seeing my psychiatrist after the 3rd session
Because she was making things worse in a way aswel as better and i just felt like i couldn't face it anymore.
Have you been to the doctor about this? Or spoke to a family member or anybody you know in person?
Because if there's someone there to support and help you..comfort you when your in need and will listen and understand how you feel it's worth a big shot talking to them
You never know..it might just help :P
How about having some 'you time' aswel perhaps? Try and take a break from everything? Just simple things like sit down and watch TV..read a book..go for a walk or write or something..and if you ever feel too stressed try writing poetry or beating and screaming into a pillow..i know you've probably heard these methods before..and i also think that if you get a pen and a note pad and just literally rip the shit out of it it will help a lot [i used to do this all the time] it eases off your anger at that time..but please do me a favour and try not to take it out on yourself emotionally or pysically because it's not your fault
I hope i helped in any way and don't be affraid to contact me at any time if you want to just chat or anything
-Krissy3
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A
female
reader, nanaboo13 +, writes (16 January 2008):
 i felt like that all summer and it drove me crazy. i almost gave up swimming cause of it.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 January 2008):
Ellie:
How about some examples of how your parents aren't the most understandable. How is your overall relationship with them? How is their relationship with eachother?
I know you're probably saying, oh no not another one talking about the family... Believe it or not, the environment that surrounds you can have an influence on your behaviors and your feelings. I would say, and not rueling it out that these swings sound like a Bipolar disorder, because they go from High (mania) to low (depression), but looking at your age, and how you're progressing into maturity (changes physical and mental), I would first move toward a hormone imbalance. You would have to see a psychologist for a proper diagnosis.
If your parents are difficult to get along with, you may want to include them in this process. Don't just come out and tell them there is an all around family problem. I told my mom about a year ago I believe her to have situational anxiety, she didn't believe me, got angry, didn't talk to me for two months, went to a doctor to prove me wrong, and was diagnosed with situational anxiety. I just had to thrown that one in there.
All though you were bullied, it's your choice to determine how to handle the issue. Having a low self esteem for what someone did 2 years ago, is like allowing the act to continue. You need to decide not to allow their poor actions to affect you any longer. Sometimes it can be hard, and life isn't easy all the time, but it gets much better when you take control of your feelings and emotions.
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (16 January 2008):
 From what you said at the start it reminds me of Bipolar. I have a sister with Bipolar, one minute she was fine and then she would trun quite nasty.
Another thought could be at your age your hormones are everywhere causing mood swings.
I went through a heavy bought of depression, i was being bullied and ...well...all sorts...
I had to find my own way out of it, i tried antidepressants but once i came off them I was the same so it didn't help.
What i did was i said i have (sounds insane lol but its not...well kinda) a few people in my head. I have Me, and Miss Depression. The idea is, fight every day, take things at a time and do SOMETHING. Try to focus on your next step in life and do something about it, and its hard to explain but what I do is keep Miss Depression in a cage and I hold the key.
My father is a manic depressive and he taught me this as I am similar. It's helped me alot. I am similar to you.
I can't diagnose this as Depression or the fact its Hormones or even Bipolar. All i can do is suggest =]
hope this helps x
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