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male
age
,
anonymous
writes: Hello there. I need some opinion about my really disturbing problem. I have a ED , a few years ago. I went to the doctors, checked everything ,more than once, and Im perfectly healthy. So it does not make sense. But I never think of sex, not with anybody. Its real serious,as my wife, who I love cant believe it , that it is not her. And now Im asking , is it ever happens that a man turns off from his wife, but not impotent otherwise? I really dont want this to happen, after 24 years of marriage.What do you think about this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): There's always the boredom factor. I've been married 23 years, together for 29. The same old moves, the same routine, well, it's difficult to get inspired. Maybe that's what's happening for you?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 If you never think of sex then your sex drive just isn't there any longer, and it has nothing to do with your wife.
However, you need to understand the effects this has on your wife. A marriage needs intimacy and care, both physical and mental care. If you are not interested in sex that doesn't mean your wife isn't interested in sex. And being her husband you still need to care for her and think of her, and make her happy, even if you do not have a need for it yourself.
Try to have sex with your wife in order to make her happy and for her to feel loved. Sex is a form of expression as well, not just a pleasurable act. It is something we do to the ones we love to show them we love them and care. You can still do that to your wife. Touch her, play with her, let her feel loved and wanted by you, even if you do not have intercourse.
Talk about it, find solutions, COMPROMISE.
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A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous  +, writes (23 April 2012):
It could be a change in your hormones, even a healthy man can get ed. You said that you dont think of sex with anyone. I would believe that you were turned off by your wife if you at least had sexual fantasies with other people... But you dont, so i dont believe its that. I would reccommend you and your wife see a sex therapist. Maybe they can help you get your desire back?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Well you could try Viagra, which works for me at age 64. It is outrageously expensive, a true rip-off. I wish it was no longer needed at that cost, but occasionally works for erectile dysfunction. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, tottenhamhotspur  +, writes (23 April 2012):
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you are turned off by your wife quite yet.
I am CRAZY about my girlfriend but from time to time, stress from my job, school, etc. will be up and even if I'm not thinking about those things, I won't be as easily aroused.
Think about how external factors are playing into this- and how happy you are with your relationship with your wife in general. Maybe its time to bring back some of the memories you have from when you first got together or remind yourself of why you care about her so much and love her.
Too many people have just 'quit' having sex after that long together anyways, so it is good you are at least trying to make it happen.
best of luck.
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