A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i've known this guy (let's call him Sam) for about 3 years now and he's my best friend, i'm closer to him than anyone else. We're like brother and sister. Unfortunately, he's going out with someone who i'm good friends with (let's call her Sarah). Very recently, however, we both got drunk with some other people and I had a panic attack. I cried out that all I wanted was Sam and I wouldn't let anyone else near me. The problem that I was panicking about concerned him and was confidential with me, so this may be why I wanted him there and non of my other very good friends, but ever since I can't help thinking there's something more to our relationship.He used to be very weird and the thought of us dating would just freak me out, but now i'm not so sure. I don't know if kissing him would be weird or not, i'm just so confused. People have said to me many times that they think we'd be a good couple, we look cute together or they wouldn't be surprised if we ended up going out. Earlier today he told me that he has feelings for me too and if I felt the same way as him, he would break up with Sarah (they're having relationship problems and she isn't treating him too well). But i don't think I could do that to Sarah because we are such good friends and I don't want to seem like a man stealer or anything. I can't stop thinking about him, but I don't know if it's just because i'm jealous of Sarah having a bf or her being as close as me to Sam or if there's something there. I've never seen him to be boyfriend material and always considered it to be almost like incest, until recently. He said that if we were to end up going out we'd probably have to do it in secret for a while firstI'm just so confused and don't want to mess up my amazing relationship with Sam.. or hurt Sarah. But I just feel like there might be something there.
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male
reader, Jason32477  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 I don`t think now would be a good time to date Sam.If your feelings for him were true then they would have been there before.And it would totally not be fair to Sara.Try to explore your feelings more to make sure of yourself. Maybe let Sam know your just confused at the moment and that you just wanna remain friends. If he does break up with Sara and you still think you have feelings for him then , and only then consider the possibility.
A
female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 I use to have the same problems with my best friend. We are very close and most days I would never consider him anything more.
But anytime he got a girlfriend, I would become extremely jealous and upset and my conclusion was, I am secretly inlove with him.
But I figured out that wasn't the case, because everytime he didn't have a girlfriend, I wouldn't have those feelings. I think I was just insecure that maybe he wouldn't care about me the same anymore - or she would take my spot.
Once he reassured me that this wasn't going to happen, I wasn't jealous anymore. We have a strong connection but nothing more.
So you need to think about this - Are you jealous because he has a girlfriend? and if you are, is it because you have feelings for him? or is it something more.
You may never find out the answer until he breaks it off with this girl, but I don't know if you want to risk it as your feelings may not even be real in the first place.
Think about it for a while.. and then talk to him about it.
Good Luck
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