A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got married last dec. and my husband and i started watching porn just a few months ago for ideas. we have been watching a lot of girl on girl action and it has turned me on to the point that we have thought about asking another woman to join us. am i turning gay? i love my husband and want a very long and happy marriage with him.
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female
reader, tibob  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 No, I don't think you are gay. Many women do feel physical attraction for other women but they are not gay. Maybe, you feel turned on when watching girls making love because it's something new to you. If you love it when your husband makes love to you, this means you love it when a man excites you and you love to be handled by a man. Don't worry.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): No, you're not gay. If you were you'd have known about it (even if unable to express it) when you were a child. Your crushes would all have been for other girls or women. And you would not have developed romantic/sexual interest in your husband.
Most people feel more at ease with women than with men. It's not unreasonable to think that feeling couldn't extended to the bedroom as well. Men tend to be more goal oriented when it comes to sex (achieve arousal, achieve orgasm). And they are more likely to pressure an unwilling partner to indulge fantasies they do not share, regardless of how unappealing they may be.
Women are safer, more gentle and with them there is nothing to prove. Women are less likely to worry about not having the perfect body or being the most sexually skilled with each other than with a man. And there is the added bonus of not having something several inches long shoved down their throats and being expected to swallow to prove their love.
Sex with a man is exciting, but what makes anything exciting is a certain degree of risk (physical or psychological). Sex with women is softer and safer. That might be what appeals to you.
It's easy to be enticed by porn. In those films they show only the wildly successful 'during' but not the prep work before or the clean up afteward. Everyone looks great, performs perfectly and no one is left out. They don't show the wife who is devastated to discover their menage a trois became a menage a deux when she fell asleep. They don't show the man who develops a strong attraction for the friend. And they certainly don't show the friend who became pregnant and decided to keep the baby. They depict only the good but not the bad. There is no guarantee it will be bad, but it can be, all too easily.
Another concern, for me anyway, is the message you'd be sending your husband. I'm assuming he wouldn't appreciate you going for dinner alone with a male friend. How will you then reconcile him having sex (or any kind of sexual contact) with another woman? By inviting one to bed with you you're giving your husband the companionship and security of a solid relationship AND some of the perks of a bachelor. Will there be a similar agreement in place for you with other men?
Yes, you'd have sexual contact with the other woman as well, but that is not, in my opinion, the same as you being with another man. The other woman is your husband's reward, not his rival. He won't have competition. You will. He would be getting all of what he wants and none of what he doesn't. You'd be getting some of what you want and some of what you don't.
Not even married a year and you're already looking elsewhere. I guess the honeymoon is just about over.
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A
female
reader, GardenLover +, writes (7 August 2011):
 Hetero women are usually more excited by women than hetero men are of men in porn. There could be a lot of reasons for this from cultural to biological, but if it gets you going and you still want to be sexual with a man, then you are not gay. It could be that you are bisexual, turned on by both sexes, but not necessarily. Sometimes we see ourselves in the female role of the porn. Wanting to experiment with both sexes is (many anyway would consider it to be) normal and doesn't mean much about your sexual orientation, until you decide that it does.
Example, I am bisexual, but I would only consider being in a long term relationship with a man. I prefer the penis in sex, but I love watching women in porn... everyone has developed association mentally with things that will turn them on.
You want it, so I'm sure you will have a long, happy marriage whether bisexual or hetero. If you are not and have not been sexually attracted to men, then you may have a big decision on your hands...
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 I don't think you are turning gay. It sounds to me like you are just comfortable with this man enough to express something you may like to try. Ask yourself is it just the physical relationship you want with a girl or can you actually see a girl in place of your husband? Most likely I am thinking it wii be the first one which means you are gay. iInstead you are just curious and able to express it because you have that strong trusting reltionship.
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