A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have five male friends that I both work with and go to social events with, such as movies, concerts, restaurants, etc. We are all in the same "group".I am normally considered "one of the guys" as I generally do not hang around other females... at all! Two of the guys in my group have made it clear at one point that they would like to go on a date with me or be in a relationship... I turned them both down (gently) because I had no attraction to them except to be friends.But now I have a growing attraction to another guy in our group of friends... We often flirt; today at work he held me up for 30 minutes of precious time just teasing and acting goofy with each other! Normally I would become very impatient at someone wasting my work time, but I actually didn't mind because it was him!I just wonder, if we were to pursue a relationship (which I'm too shy to start myself and just HOPE he makes the first move), if it would be worth risking a friendship with the other guys in the group. I just fear some elaborate jealousy occurring because I wasn't attracted to two guys in the group and refused to date them, but "all of a sudden" want to date another guy in the group. I just really, really like him and I pray he feels the same about me... Any advice? Should I try to ignore these feelings and just stay friends for the good of the group or should I go for it (if possible)?
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female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (8 June 2013):
 Its cool really, men compete. Im sure you know this. Its about let the best man wins. The jealousy will come but it shouldn't break you all up.. This is a normal occurrence the girl likes who she likes she chooses who she wants. They go try thats what they suppose to do hunt and chase. Men can handle rejection believe you me. So dont worry about that work on you new found relationship you interested in now. This has occurred in many groups and it is what it is I was like okay they chose what they want it wasnt me cool on to the next one. Everybody not compatiable anyway of attracted to each other all the time thats life. We tend to look for the best suitors for I needs that must be met. That could be for numerous reasons true love ,froendship, love making ,sex only finances ,protection new experiences and afventures it varies person to person. I think it will be a issue but then it will be cool and not a issue.
A
female
reader, Queen_mermaid  +, writes (8 June 2013):
From my experience, this will surely affect your group negatively.First given the fact that two of them , you've already rejected. Knowing you are going out with the third one will somewhere hurt their male egos. Finally the group might end up in a break.Secondly, one day or another, supposed you are going out with the boy, he finds out that the two other had once been interested in you. He will not feel secure when they are around you. He might put a bit of restrictions upon you regarding them, for e.g don't hang much around with them or don't talk with them. That jealousy feelings will come up somewhere.
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