A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right here is a question I possibly know the answer to. Lets say a guy likes a lot of porn, glamour mags, sexy photos etc. is here any way him finding a real woman who is attractive in looks and personality can change this or at least lessen it? Could it be they are just like that because they are single?
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 May 2014):
 If it's a deal breaker for you OP that he looks at Porn, do NOT make an assumption that he will stop when he has you by his side.
If porn is a deal breaker for you, then it's better if he does not use porn regularly before you meet him and get with him.
habits are hard to break.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2014): Some of your points are interesting, I mean would they lose interest in just looking at pictures and buying glamour magazines? My ex didn't change his habits at all and i don't want that again.
...............................
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (3 May 2014):
Personally I don't think so. Everyone likes to masturbate sometimes, it's just such a therapeutic release, and sometimes we need that release without having to worry about pleasing someone else. Porn is a visual aid for men, and can help make masturbation more pleasant and intense. So I would say men would still like porn.
...............................
A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (3 May 2014):
 "is there any way him finding a real woman who is attractive in looks and personality can change this or at least lessen it?"Lessen it? Likely. Change it? Depends on the guy. Things that will be a factor:-how high his sex drive isSome guys feel they NEED relief everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. Others are content with once every few days or once a week, and you'll even occasionally find a guy who wants/needs it less often than that. For the ones who like to get relief at least once a day, they probably wouldn't totally give it up. Not because they think it's superior to their partners, but because there's a higher chance they would need relief when their partner isn't available. Example: A guy is laying next to his sleeping partner, but can't sleep himself because of sexual tension. He doesn't want to wake his partner up because she had a long day at work, and he knows she needs the rest. So what is he likely going to do between look at porn or create a scenario in his head to masturbate to? My guess is most would choose the porn because it's much quicker and easier. NOT because they aren't capable of masturbating without it, but because they just want to get to sleep right now. -how high his partner's sex drive isIf his partner has a pretty equal sex drive to him, he'll use it less, because he'll be getting the real thing more. However, if he's paired with someone who has a much lower sex drive, he'll obviously use it more. -if he relied on it as his ONLY way of getting sexual relief while single This also relates to your question: "Could it be they are just like that because they are single?"A lot of guys depend on porn for their release when they are single. Some guys have the attitude they will just get rejected anyway if they try to get with an actual woman, so they turn to porn because it never says "no". Some guys are lazy, and don't want to put the effort in finding/keeping a partner. Some guys have had their heart broken a lot, so they aren't interested in a relationship with yet another woman who (they think) would hurt them. Some feel they just aren't ready for a relationship. And then there are guys who depended on it for so long while single that when they finally do get in a relationship, they can't give it up because they're addicted. They are used to being stimulated by porn, and their brain has actually been "rewired" to only get aroused this way. So while they may WANT to give it up, they find it's a struggle. They can love their partners more than anything on Earth, but like any addiction, it takes time and effort to work through it.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 May 2014):
I'd rather have a woman than porn any day. When sex has been regular I rarely watch porn as I believe it can have some negative effects.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (2 May 2014):
 Porn is like alcohol, going to the gym or playing a video game...there's a healthy medium between enjoying a gym session twice a week, and being an obsessed gym addict. Playing an online console game a couple of nights a week is fine if you have other things in your life but clearly becomes an issue if you are up all night playing and don't go to school or work because of it. I like a couple of pints now and then but im far from having a drink problem. The point i'm making is that there are other choices than simply choosing either non at all or being an addict, with issues and having life's normality effected.For a man masturbation is a means to an end. Men need to have a physical release of pent up sexual desire, wherever through intercourse or through masturbation. Young men tend to have higher sex drives which means they are more likely to masturbate. Even in a relationship men can continue to masterbate regularly, but that's not a reflection of a woman's performance or a measure of how the man feels about her physically or emotionally. Making love needs dedication, time, and of course takes two people. Masturbation takes a few moments and can, for the want of a better expression, scratch the itch more easily when time is short than lighting candles, sharing a shower, spending an hour on forplay and worrying about satisfying a woman. In a relationship sex is important of course, but for a man so is satisfying the urge. As long as a relationship is sexually rewarding for you, you don't need to know or concern yourself with how often your partner uses porn unless you think he has an addiction, you believe he is using porn of an illegal nature or he is unable to perform. Its important to understand that when watch porn its not to compare the porn stars bodies with that of there partner. Neither is it to compare acts, performance or beauty. Its a means to an end. Its about watching and listening to a physical act. Its about being turned on and turning to a few moments of escapism. Many men masturbate while watching porn featuring women who are completely the opposite to the kind of woman they would normally want to have sex with in real life. Some men enjoy watching porn with very large ladies, women of a different race/ethnicity, or women performing acts they would never want to do in real life with anyone. Its escapism. What so many women don't understand is that when a man has finished masturbating the porn he has just watches suddenly seems like the most pointless rubbish known to man. When a man climaxes he looses all ability to perform, and interest in, sex. Without the hormones and erection, the porn plays out without him while he "cleans up", before he hits the "close" button and closes the laptop. Job done. Whether a man uses porn or not is not decided on his partners body, personality or sexual ability. Men turn to porn either to relieve a sexual urge or because, unlike women who take ages to orgasm, he is looking for a quick fix. Men can climax at the drop of a hat. A young guy might want to have three or four orgasms a day but most, even in the best relationships, cant have sex four times a day and make that effort to please a woman and so forth so frequently. So he does himself a favour as it were. Its normal for men to masturbate and men usually want to watch sex, listen to it, or look at a picture of a woman's body to help things along. Generally I masturbate more when single and less, sometimes a lot less, when in a relationship. Partly because a sexual relationship satisfies most of my urges and partly as being in a relationship gives me less time to sit about alone and bored which is when im most likely to look at porn. Most of use know the different between porn and real life. Most of us understand that what we see and here is ridiculous, OTT and fake! Any man with any common sense knows that all the "Oh baby! Oh baby! Its so good baby! Right there baby!" is a load of fake rubbish that isn't convincing. In fact many men, and women, prefer more natural forms of porn, such as amature porn as its more representative of real sex.
...............................
A
male
reader, wise-guy +, writes (2 May 2014):
Interesting question. I'd say with some guys having a girlfriend does make porn less of an issue. I mean I certainly know which I'd choose! To me there's no contest between porn and a genuinely lovely, sexy girl, she'd win every time because she would be real. Not a fake actress who is being paid to act a certain way
So I think it depends largely on the guys themselves. I don't think porn is a sin but it shouldn't take precedence over the real thing :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): Yes, personally, I believe that to be very true.
Men are visual creatures, porn is only a visual-aid.
Male-masturbation is a form of release of our sexual tensions; and it is sexual-recreation. Some tend to be greedy for it. Not to forget those poor souls who have emotional issues with intimacy; penile dysfunction; or issues about the size of their penis. They "resort" to porn as a chosen outlet.
Men are wired to want multiple sexual-partners. Not all men want multiple partners; but they do like something different. We do like a short-cut to orgasm, and a change of subject-matter for our visual-aids.
Masturbation is just a quick and easy alternative to intercourse. Immediate gratification with little work and selfish pleasure. We do retreat to our imaginations once and awhile; it doesn't mean we're any less attracted to the woman (or man) in our lives. If sex gets too routine; or our partner is mean or moody, we seek the alternative.
Using sex as a weapon, being stingy, or withholding it for punishment. Is stupid self-inflicted punishment. We still have our options.
If a guy is addicted to porn; like any addiction; the afflicted is slave to their habit. They have an illness.
However; porn starts to lose it's appeal, and gets boring too. You settle into a healthy and happy sex-life. For the majority of guys who use porn; it is only a temporary stand-in for the real thing. It lets the imagination go places your sane mind wouldn't really go. Healthy guys do get their fill of it. Just like real sex. Maturity has a lot to do with it. Contentment with a good partner as well.
There is no substitute for good real sex. Any guy who thinks otherwise better get his head examined!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 May 2014):
 The interest in porn/mags/whatnot is NOT about the girl. It's about the GUY who entertain himself with these and how he views sex and women.
Some guys DO put the porn on a back burner when having a new GF others don't. Some HIDE it. Some pick it back up once the "newness" of sex wears off.
IT DEPENDS on the guy.
IT IS NOT the GIRLS job to monitor a guy and how much porn he views. NOR is it a GIRLS job to PREVENT or "CURE" a guy from porn watching.
...............................
A
female
reader, cattycakes +, writes (2 May 2014):
Well if they were like that it would put women off, so they would tend to be alone with their pictures quite a lot. It would do no harm to tell this person how off-putting it is, but unless they were spectacular in every other way, give money to charity, kind to animals, helpful, generous, caring etc I would not take a risk on them. Porn is addictive and in excess creates terrible lovers. It could be an immature phase but it might be a real habit.
...............................
|
