A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently separated from my wife, her brother is also separated from his wife. His wife and I have been secretly communicating by text, email and have met at a resturant to talk. I am attracted to her sexually. I think she could be sexually attracted to me. Both our spouses were controling cheaters who did whatever they wanted with no reguard. Being we're both separated with no hope of our marriages getting back on track, would it be wrong to get a very discrete sexual thing going between us? I do not want a serious relationship with her, just a temporary sexual friendship. Being separated leaves little room for anything until I'm divorced. I'm finding women don't want to be involved with a separated guy. I have needs too, and want someone for a sexual friendship. I have tried for other available women. The only one interested came to me but she's married to my friend. I turned her down, she was very hard to turn down, but I'm not getting involved in destroying a marriage or friendship. She asked me because I asked her if she had any friends into having a sexual friendship. A few days later she was at my door looking to get laid. I just figured that my brother in law's estranged wife who went thru a worse situation than I could work being we are both separated, we know each other quite well and have never had any issues between us. How wrong is this or is this wrong at all. I'm not asking her anything sexual until I hear what people think about a situation like ours.
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divorce, sister in law, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (21 January 2012):
Do either of you have children? If there are any children then you are still tied to your spouses' families and you will not be able to escape the situation that erupts because of this.
Exactly what is this "sexual friendship". Is this code for "affair"?
If you pursue this woman, is she aware of the short term implications?
Perhaps the two of you sympathize with each other for having to have endured the same inlaws. Sympathy is not a good basis for a relationship.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 November 2011):
 I think it's secretly a way to get back at the spouses. I think you aren't really thinking about the backlash or repercussions that would happen if your kids ever found out you had slept with their aunt.
I'm assuming you have children? Maybe you don't, but the point remains that you are essentially getting involved with "Aunt Sally" or sister-in-law Sally or daughter-in-law Sally. In light of the fact that your spouses both cheated, it will make you look like you are attempting a cheap and nasty revenge.
I'd stick to fantasies and date Rosie for a while. Proceed with the divorce and this won't be an issue for very long.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): I'm just going to say YEP its wrong. Its the drama of the whole thing let alone using her for sex? Especially when she's vunerable is a HELLZ No. She's been hurt by her marriage and her Husbands selfish, controling cheating and you using Ex Sister In Law for sex -dishonest just like the Wife controling cheater- is helpful? Wise? Honest?Using one another to get back is dishonest and will create more pain and confusion, not less.Lets be the strong, wise person here and say not that I am tempted but because I am capable of loving and caring for someone, other than Myself, I am going to have to decline your offer.Even though you are just as selfish and WANT to use the Ex Sister In Law...Just thought to help you and your Ex Sis- be wise, say no, walk away.In time and with healing and not being so overly vulgar and having needs- wait for a loving relationship and break the whole cheater mentality you are embroiled in.Yah?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): tell you the truth all sex outside marriage is somehow wrong but other than that I don't think being your ex brother-in-laws ex wife makes it more wrong. you are both old enough to decide if you are comfortable with it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 November 2011):
 I think until you are BOTH legally divorced that is not smart to start up a new relationship.
As far at it being your soon-to-be-BIL's-ex - I don't know.. I think it comes off as a little "inbread" if you get my point. I can so much potential drama arising from this.
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