A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidI've been dating a girl for over a year now. Everything has been going very well up until yesterday. We've had some small issues of course, but have generally worked things out well. Yesterday, however, we had an argument, and she started repeating herself over and over, and was not supportive of me, and I got a little angry and basically said,"you don't need to repeat the same thing over and over again, I'm not a F#$%ken idiot." She was like a deer caught in a headlight- she didn't move or speak, and wouldn't speak to me for a least an hour. finally I said sorry for being angry, but I was a little annoyed that she didn't recognize her own behavior. So I said good buy a little coldly. Today we texted and I sent her photos of our trip, and she gave me a cold response. Am I to believe that our relationship is over after a minor dispute? Can someone fall out of love with you for a small thing? Should i end it?I do care for her deeply, but I see trouble in the future. But no one is perfect right?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): What a man needs most from a woman is her respect. What a woman needs most from a man is appreciation.
Your comment made her feel you did not appreciate that she was trying to "work" on your relationship. A mature guy will be his most supportive when she is unhappy and trying to fix things, no matter how unpleasant dealing with her feelings are.
You felt disrespected by what ever she said to you in the first place and so the cycle goes.
If you have a strong foundation then a small disagreement will not destroy your relationship. If you don't seek first to understand rather than be understood you may get into a pattern of poor relationship habits and communication which will destroy your relationship eventually.
A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (15 July 2009):
 I hate to use examples, but look at Jordan and Pete, she claims he DIVORCED her because she went on a night out without him, that to me is a little thing, but to him it was a massive thing. Im using this an example because something that may seem a little dispute to you, could be a massive thing to her, it could also have been building up inside her and she's using that as the break away. But it could just be PMS and she'll be back to normal in a couple days when shes done with her hissy fits. Who knows, i'd leave it for a couple days, give her some space to get over herself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): Very true, nobody is perfect. Every relationship has problems. Its perfectly normal. Try writting a letter explaining her feelings. Let the good and bad come out. It takes a boy to say im sorry & a man to say i apologize.
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