A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Could a guy have sex with someone and totally not remember it happening the next day? My friend and her boyfriend had just moved in together, and she had her "best friend" over 1 night and the best friend and the boyfriend had been drinking a lot. Well my friend tells me that her biyfriend and her best friend had been flirting all night long, so she pulled them aside and told them that they were making her uncomfortable. That didn't stop them she said it made it worse..so she went to bed angry because she said she couldn't watch them flirt anymore. The next morning at 7 a.m. her 6 year old daugher woke her up and asked why was Johnny (fake name) and Cindy (fake name) naked in the livingroom? My friend gets up and sees the two lying practically on top of eachother passed out, completely naked. So my friend confronts them and her boyfriend still to this day (this was last summer) claims he doesn't remember anything. Her best friend claimed the same however she had been running her mouth to other mutual friends saying how she had sex with my friend's b.f. and someone did end up telling my friend today that she told her they had sex, unprotected and even had details of the ordeal. My friend is really upset now because she is now 5 months pregnant with this guy's baby and to know that she was not only cheated on but lied to and has details of their sex, she doesn't know what to do now. Also she was having pregnancy complications, bleeding really badly to the point where she almost miscarried and found out she had chlamydia which she says she must have gotten because her friend slept with her boyfriend. If this is true, her boyfriend knew that she could have miscarried thier baby and said nothing about the fact that he could have given her a STD, he just kept claiming that he didn't remember anything that happened that night. I just don't see how it's possible for someone to not know what they're doing and to have sex with their partner's best friend, while they were right in the other room, then fail to even put clothes on especially knowing there is a child in the house..this is beyond me. Could he really not remember as he states?
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best friend, flirt, moved in, std Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, climax +, writes (24 September 2011):
well my bf says that he dont remember anything that happen in that night but next thing he knows is there is a slut sleeping next to him. and now tells me that iam better off without him even though he loves me and says that he wants to sleep with many women and scared of being committed to me. so i dont really know whether to believe men like them or not. perhaps not.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): Yes! I've had sex and had zero recollection of it.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Yes !It is possible according to the new discovery . Having sex during your sleep without being aware of it. It is called sexual behavior during sleep or SBS or sleep sex.It is like sleep walking . A case of rape was thrown out in the UK because of this disorder.
You can read more of this topic here...
http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/sleepsex.html
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): This is an addition to the question I posted yesterday, which can be seen here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/could-a-guy-have-sex-with-someone-and.html
The girl that slept with my friend's boyfriend called me today & she said that since this happened, he has propositioned her for sex again saying "you're going to f*** me because you're my hoe" while my pregnant friend was sleeping in the other room. I guess I am also friends with her, only because I have known her & her family for most of my life, but I really don't like her as a person. I want to tell my pregnant friend about this but I know she won't leave him for it, and she'll just be more stressed out because of it. She lets everyone walk all over her & it makes me sad..I feel bad for this baby as the father is an alcoholic and also has a bad porn addiction, where he gets up every night and jerks off to porn. A couple times, my friend's 6 y/o daughter got up during the night to go to the bathroom, etc. and saw him passed out at the computer with his penis in his hand & porn was on. My friend called me a couple times very upset because this happened, and she would confront him about it and he would get mad and yell at her, get in her face, etc. I am also afraid that he may molest her 6 year old daughter as he is a very screwed up person. I don't think there is anything I can do, but advice would be appreciated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): It's unlikely. What is more likely is that this was one encounter he wished he could forget and is trying to erase it from his memory.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 I have to agree with peoriaman - I never understand people using the excuse "I was so drunk I don't remember". IT'S TOTAL RUBBISH. I think the words should be replaced with "errr... I can't think of anything and would rather avoid the whole issue by pretending I can't remember". Sounds like denial to me.
I don't make a habit of it but I do like to out on the town and have a drink now and then. Last Saturday I was so drunk I was bumping into almost all the parked cars on the way home before falling on top of the bonnet on one. It was quite amusing for the 5-10 onlookers watching and I have to say I even laighted at myself as I was swaying all over the place :)
Needless to say I've never been THAT drunk before in my life and I could still remember everything that happened that night. Quite a few of my friends are HEAVY drinkers and they don't seem to have a problem remembering.
Then again, I've NEVER had a hangover but I'm sure they do exist.
I WAS TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER IS JUST A LAME EXCUSE.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (15 January 2008):
It is possible for a guy to have sex when drunk or in a very deep sleep without remembering it although every time I have heard of this situation happening it has been the girl doing all the work and the guy laying down on his back completely out of it.
Years ago I had a girlfriend that claimed she did this with me whilst I was sleeping after a night of serious drinking.
Generally if the guy is making all the moves during the act, or any moves during the act it would be a pretty safe conclusion to come to that he certainly did remember.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (15 January 2008):
Wow,for your sake i wish i could say that you can't remember but the sad truth is that your brain stores it and you have no choice but to remeber.
Your friend's boyfriend lied and took advantage of her kindness.I really hope her pregnancy won't be affected as much and i hope she can have the strength to get through this.The solution is for the boyfriend to be more truthful and reduce on the booze..
Good luck to her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): I used to drink alot, actually a black out drunk. Weighing 110-115 and drinking 15 beers or so, I sadly remember every sexual encounter I had, wish I didn't but I did. As for cussing out a waiter or smashing my hand through a glass table that might slip my mind, sex I would sadly remember. Needless to say I don't drink any more. Doubtful he "forgot" I used to excuse before but it is almost always a big fat lie,sorry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): From my own experience drinking I know that I have always remembered what I have done. The only way he could have not remembered is if he had passed out and in that case they wouldn't have been able to have sex cause there is no way he could have gotten a hard on.
But I don't really see why your friend even needed to ask. If she saw them laying naked on top of each other that was her cue to grab him by the hair and throw him out of her house and never talk to the scumbag again. The reason he is probably lying about it is because even after she saw that she still was asking what happened. Like, duh. So he's probably thinking well if she sees that and still wants to know what happened she must be pretty gullible so I'll just deny it. That's all. Of course he cheated on her.
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A
female
reader, studentnurse +, writes (15 January 2008):
From personal experience you remember. I was more drunk then I have ever been and still to this day have not been that drunk again, but I remember everything that happened between me and a "friend" of mine. And so does he. So yes you do remember regardless of the lame tired excuse this man is giving your friend. And he doesn't seem to be a very good one if he was willing to risk the health of his unborn child and his girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): Possible, but unlikely.
Drunkedness is no excuse for cheating, you CAN control yourself when drunk it just becomes far more difficult.
So I say he DOES remember, but doesn't want to because he feels GUILTY. Not to mention the baby coming out of all this. The man has an obligation and loyalty now to the child and ot the girlfriend.
It seems to me that this friend of yours needs to choose her friends and partners more carefully next time.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 No No No..
What a pathetic excuse. Sorry but your "friend" is being used here.
What a dreadful situation with a bunch of lowlifes.
Good luck in sorting it out. But the friend should be hightailing it away from this cheating rat. And what type of person can call themselves a friend who enters her friends house and sleeps with the boyfriend.
Scum - that's all.
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