A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, im not sure where my head is at...ive been having 'casual sex' with a friend, he really likes me and is very clear about it, hes lovely, and sweet but i don't want a boyfriend atm which he has a hard time adjusting to as i dont let him act like a boyfriend out in public much. But I don't feel in awe with him, I care don't get me wrong but i cant imagine myself in love with him. Hes said if i 'friendzoned' him he would walk as he cannot deal with just being friends with me and i don't wanna lose his friendship, he's an amazing person. My best friend on the other hand, i would marry him if i could! We've been super close for 6 years now, we spoke about things happening between us years ago. And we have only spoke about it that one time, and i cant work out if he still feels that way, and if he does would it actually happen between us because of all our years as friendship... And im just confused :/ What would anyone do...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 November 2012):
 I agree you need to stop sleeping with this friend. You are leading him on and giving him hope… that’s cruel. YOU are being selfish. You say you don’t want to lose his friendship but you know that he wants more and you don’t and yet you lead him on with sex and he’s hoping that as most women do you will fall for him.
As for your best friend… stop sleeping with this other guy… get some space and distance then go to your best friend and propose that you guys take it a step further. IF he says no then you know how the other friend feels….
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): i definitely agree with fishdish. you need to stop leading that guy on. he may walk, at least temporarily, but he doesn't deserve to be drug through the dirt like you're doing to him. i'm not saying you're doing it intentionally to hurt him, but ultimately, that's what you're doing. you're not doing him any favors by not cutting him loose.
i wouldn't necessarily jump the gun and tell your friend you like him. i'm sure that your friendship could survive it if the feelings weren't returned because you've been friends for so many years. but is it worth the risk? do the two of you flirt at all? has he given any subtle signs he's interested recently? you may in fact be in the friendzone with this guy. it's really impossible to tell. but sometimes friends that are that close are better off staying that way. losing a best friend due to crossing the friendship barrier is really awful. anyway, good luck. oh, and let that other guy go.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (5 November 2012):
 a) stop leading on the guy you never see a real romance with. yes you'll lose a friend, but you have this bff don't you?
b) bring up the topic again with your best friend. it doesn't have to be immediate. consider flirting more to get him to catch on.
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