A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:about a month ago, while in town with a friend of mine, we ran into one of her guys friends. He was much younger than her, and not exactly what I had expected when she talke about him, but that's sort of beside the point. I could tell right away that he was interested in her, but she brushed it aside and said they only thought of each other as friends. He seemed like a sweet guy, polite, made lots of eye contact while talking/listening, etc. Admittedly I found him physically attractive, but he's not really my type.A few weeks later I came to find I was right about him liking her; she got a boyfriend and this guy got jealous. He constantly brings up how she shouldn't have a bf, how attractive she is, etc etc. Though she would never do anything with him, as he is quite a bit younger than her and not her type either. But, they do hang out a lot and have become close as friends. To get to the point, the other day they were hanging out together and out of the blue show up at my house. They were bored and driving around and my friend asks me to come driving with them, so I do. This guy makes some joke about leaving me in the vehicle with crayons while him and her go out and I snap back with "I'm only a year younger than you are!" which shuts him up. For the next little while he barely looks at me, even when I talk. I was a bit offended by this as the first time we met he looked me in the eyes. My friend suggests going to a movie when her bf is done work, and this guy says "yea, we can have a double date." My friend turns around to look at me with a raised eyebrow and I laugh. The guy seems offended, though I assure him I wasnt laughing at him. Later we all meet up with my friends bf for drinks, and when this guy and I are left at the table together he doesn't talk (again, odd, as he is a very confident and chatty person). I was sitting a seat over from him as I don't like crowding people's personal space. Everyone decides to get drinks, so we go to another place. I'm not paying attention to what's being said and all of a sudden this guy is standing behind me, holding my arms at my sides and using me as a shield from someone (who was joking with him about throwing ice or something). He then sits beside me at the table. It is suggested we go play pool, and my friend states "guys verses girls" to which this guy replies "how about couple verses friends?" (him and I vs. my friend and her bf) which ends up being how it is. I've never played pool, so my friend was teaching me how at first... but then this guy took over and would help me choose my target and stand behind the ball to show me where to aim. He then said he was impressed with how well I was doing. He was tipsy by the end of the night, and flirting with my friend in front of her bf (who was also drunk, so he didn't mind). Today he was supposed to meet my friend for lunch, but blew her off to do something else (even though it was possibly his last day here). I'm pretty much confused about the entire situation ... his sudden lack of words and confidence, why he's blowing her off, etc. anyone had any insight? sorry it's so long.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 March 2012):
 I dont know what you are confused about, he likes your friend and you are all well aware of that!
He sounds like a naturally flirty guy, and he has some guts because he is willing to openly flirt with your friend in front of her boyfriend, that is pretty brave or stupid whichever way you look at it.
He was flirting with you a little, but nothing much more than friends joking around.
The lack of words would indicate he doesnt really have much to say to you, typically meaning you dont really get on that well together when it is just the two of you. When you like someone conversation flows and you flirt (like he does with your friend), but when there is no connection you sit in silence. Like he did with you.
And blowing her off? Well he obviously got a better offer, and he does know she has a boyfriend so he will know deep down there is no point in persuing her, so as much as he likes her and flirts with her, he wont go out of his way to see her especially if a better offer comes along.
Stop worrying about a guy who fancies your friend, there really is no point in obsessing over tiny details like this because he likes someone else, not you I'm afraid.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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