A
male
age
41-50,
*lick4u_uk
writes:I was introduced to a girl over a month ago, we initially exchanged text messages and then spoke on the phone for over 3 hours then met up the same weekend for a coffee where we chatted for over an hour - i then text her the same evening and said that i found her easy to talk to, we have loads in common, attractive, intelligent and would be keen on getting to know her further.. she text back saying she felt the same... anyway we exchanged texts during the coming week and chatted every other day and then met up the following week again for lunch - again we spent 2.5 hours together, it actually took us 40 mins into the lunch to actually order something and that was only because the waiter refused to move until we ordered as we kept sending the waiter away...anyway then she went off on holiday for 2 weeks and said she will get in touch once she gets back - but then whilst she was out there she sent me a text every few days to which i would respond and then prior to her return i sent her a text...anyway after she got back shes been pretty busy with work (doc) and family and hardly responds to my texts but she does ring every other day when she can - usually in the morning on the way to work before the reception dies out due to black spots...but whenever she rings the calls always have loads of positive energy coming from her...But unsure where i stand with her since we only speak once every 2 days and she hardly responds to my text messages but then whenever she does phone i don't get any negative vibes from her...i want to call her and text her all the time but then i don't want to come on to strong or when she cant take my call i don't want to make her feel guilty..confused about how to approach this as i do like her alot since we do get along well and have loads in common - just don't want to get it wrong and also dont want her to feel like i don't care...
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male
reader, slick4u_uk +, writes (3 April 2010):
slick4u_uk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice. I have asked her out again and she said we can go out next weekend as she is busy attending weddings this weekend. I haven't bothered texting today, left her to to text me and today she hasn't text me at all. I assume because we are still in the getting to know each other phase there is no commitment to find out who each others doing on a daily basis. This is very different for me because in previous relationships, the communications from both sides have been very quick , spontaneous and flirtatious at the start which then leads to a stronger bond leading onto a relationship. But this one is very different. But then different may turn out to be best..
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
She genuinely sounds as if she's just a bit busy. If I were you, I'd try asking her out again.
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A
male
reader, rotarosca +, writes (1 April 2010):
Well it appears that she is very busy. It also seems that you care for her more than she cares for you. You have to decide on whether that is what you want. You will always be a bit frustrated because she has some other thing doing. She likes you but is not head over heels. If not, she'll not wait 2 days to reply to your text. Nothwishtanding , she may be waiting for the right time to send the right text to you. You've done well by not labouring her with calls and texts.From experience when you tell people to call you back quickly they may do so as a sense of duty for 1 or 2 months and then slide back to their usual habit which will even make you more frustrated as you've already told them what you want and they are not doing it. You should do to her as she does to you. It's called the pull and push philosophy. If she takes 2 days to answer your text, spend 2 or even 3 days in answering her text. This will make her answer your text faster and let her know that you are also 'busy'. It will help with all the confusion. You will need to also start doing other fun things like dancing, learning something new, so that when you talk you can tell her what you've done and possibly invite her to teach her some new thing.When doing other fun things, try to forget your phone at home or put it off so that when she calls when you are not around, you'll not be there to pick it. She'll be thinking 'what is he doing' 'why is he not picking my phone' 'who is he with'. The problem could be that whenever she calls you are always there for her, so she relaxes. It can be quite frustrating when someone does not need you as much as you need them. It will be healthier if you could possibly not need her so much. If i have to think 'am i calling or texting too much?' then it adds anxiety and you can't pretend for too long that you dont need to talk to someone. the sign of real friendship is when you can call your friend whenever they pop into my head. .People can sense when you need them and tend to relax as they know that no matter how they behave, you'll always call or text. When you show them that you've got a life and other friends (boys and girls) that you can call, then they'll know that they need to take you more seriously.Dont go complaining to her that she is not calling or texting you fast enough. Just mirror and you'll see the difference. If she doesnt change then you may need to move on. Another thing is not to talk too long on the phone. Dont talk for 2-3 hours on the phone. Because she is busy and knows that your conversation goes for so long, she may be waiting for when she has that long time. Try to talk briefly and set up a meeting to do something fun when you can spend all the time you need getting closer to her.All the best
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A
male
reader, slick4u_uk +, writes (1 April 2010):
slick4u_uk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is single, the first time we chatted was at night time around 10pm until 1am...
and we have met up twice in our local town centre, once for a coffee in a busy shopping centre and once in zizzi's - chances are high of us getting noticed together...
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (1 April 2010):
Are you sure she's single? Do you have her home landline number? If you only have her cell number and she only rings you when she has left her house then be suspicious.
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