A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had my first threesome two nights ago and now I'm very confused and slightly embarrassed and annoyed. My best male friend who is bi-sexual,J.B. and I have been flirting innocently for a very long time. We went on holidays along with some other friends this past weekend and the flirting somehow intensified. As a matter a fact, our friends kept joking that we should get ourselves a room or that if we had wanted to make a romantic getaway we should have told them before hand. I'm not sure that I have romantic feelings towards him (I recently got out of a 5 year relationship and am not ready to commit again), but it is true that we have a special relationship. Sometimes I'd catch him staring at me out of the blue, he'd always take my hand when we went out together, he'd invite me to lunch at his place and we'd cuddle in the couch or he'd hug me more than our other friends (he's an extremely touchy person).Anyhow, things were great until that night. He lay down and beckoned me to lay with him and I did. We were cuddling and he was caressing my leg and my back when a mutual friend of ours, K.J. came and cuddled with us. Somehow, and I still don't know how, the cuddling became petting and the petting became much more.At first I was fine...but after a while I found that my friend K.J. was getting all the attention from my bi-sexual friend: he was biting her or licking her, while I watched from the sidelines... He'd then do the same to me but not with the same intensity and he'd go back to her.It is true that perhaps I was so shocked at what was going on and because of my own nature that I take some time to really get into the heat of things...but K.J. (who, by the way has a boyfriend) was all over him.I guess I'm jealous... although I'm not even sure why and I'm also annoyed at K.J. and can't help thinking that if she hadn't been there things would have worked out in another way.Nonetheless, another thing that has me wondering is that my bi-sex friend wanted to touch us, wanted us to touch each other, but he didn't want us to touch his cock. He was clearly very aroused... so I don't really understand why he didn't want us to pleasure him. Any idea?Anyways, I'm quite confused and worried that our friendship will never be the same. I definitely don't want to lose either of my friends... Any insight on how I can get over this dumb feelings?
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flirt, has a boyfriend, jealous, on holiday, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 Could it be that JB likes and respects you more than wanting to have a sexual 'quick-fling'? Maybe he wanted to hold it back for a more special intimate moment when it was just the 2 of you?I do agree that KJ didn't have to come along and interfere with things, as it made a situation happen that wasn't really what you wanted, and maybe JB wasn't up for either? You say that you have been best friends for 5 years with him, so perhaps he didn't want to go all the way because of that reason?I would sit down and talk to him about it, just the 2 of you, and be HONEST with him, as he is still your best friend. Tell him that you felt a little bit jealous and that you don't know what he thinks.If it was just fun for him, then you have your answer, but at least you will know. As for KJ, she really had no business doing what she did, and I would keep her at arms length for a little while till you are able to deal with your feelings about JB.I don't think tellig her boyfriend would be such a good idea, as you run the risk of being ostracised by the boyfriend for being involved yourself, as it were, even though it wasn't what you really wanted. It may also really create some nasty waves between your friendship with her, and I don't think you really need that at the moment, as you have just come out of a 5 year breakup and are needing your supports around you right now.I hope this helps. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): So you don't feel even A LITTLE guilty that you, as a friend, stood by and let K.J. cheat on her boyfriend?
That would be burning through me if I had done the same, not that I ever would... I'd die before betraying anyone willingly.
Seriously, THAT is where you should be focusing right now, cause she totally stringing her boyfriend along and lying to his face, essentially laughing at him while she has her fun.
I'd sit all of you down, you, your half-gay friend, K.J and her boyfriend and come out with it. Do you really want to live with a lie on your heart? Can you really look her boyfriend in the eyes, knowing that she is a liar and a cheat?
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 You are in a terrible situation here. Lose those your friends and I mean FAST!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (20 April 2011):
 People have different fetishes. Perhaps he doesn't want his cock touched because he's not ready for sex with both of you. It's hard enough to find a guy who lasts longer than 30 minutes. To find out that he couldn't sustain long enough to satisfy both of you can be humiliating. Threesomes are not for the faint hearted. It's best if you can get to know each other's likes or dislikes, and have a talk about what you can agree to do, before just plunging into action not knowing what to expect. It's impossible for the three of you to like what the other person also likes but I believe we should all be fair so no one feels left out. Another possibility is that JB wants to arouse jealousy in you. One way to get things passionate and juicy is the emotion jealousy.
Even though in my real life I don't act bisexual when I go into threesomes I just become one. So it's not two girls pleasing one guy, competing for attention. That's kind of a degrading feeling. I would also focus on the girl's pleasure rather than just watch like a spectator helplessly. I would also develop connection to the girl so her pleasure becomes my pleasure too, so it would be a turn on to watch her, and not hurt and annoyed. A threesome gets confusing when there is an imbalance, when one feels a lack of something. Try to form three equal sides of a triangle. I say try because nothing is really equal but you have to find something that you can do with each person, something that uniquely satisfies each one of you.
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