A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im going out with my boyfriend for two years. At the beginning we established we were at opposite ends of the spectrum. I was a virgin and he had sex before with a good few women. I always wanted to wait til I was married. I guess i had a cinderella fantasy in my mind. At least thats what he told me. Hes only told me he loved me twice after a fight. Most of the other time he tells me he cant love me until we have sex-that theres a physical connection thats missing. This really hurts me coz i want him to love me for me. He was never in long relationships so i had to tell him afew things about do's and donts. I admit i was jealous of his friends that were girls and he told me i made it so hard for him he couldnt tell me anything. So i apologised and said id try harder and not be so jealous and that i wanted him to be able to tell me about everyone. Then he went to a party last summer and took a girls email address. We fought the other night and he blurted it out that i was preventing him from emailing her. He had only responded three or four times. I was horrified he hadnt told me about her yet I had asked him had he made any new friends that night and he said no. I told him i felt like he was keeping his options open. He insisted then she was a friend and he didnt fancy her and she was miles away. I told him i was mad at him but then he just said i was controlling etc I had admitted i was wrong in the past I felt like he should apologise now for this. But this is the thing-my boyfriend gets so dirty when he fights-he says the most hurtful things and then he comes back and apologises afew days later but its hard to forget. Its been two days and he hasnt come back yet-the last i heard he told me to f off. I didnt reply. But now i really want to make it up with him coz i love him but equally im afraid he doesnt respect me and if i give in now will it just happen again. I cant figure out if he loves me but something inside makes me wonder am i being silly staying with him. But then i miss him and now im just going in circles! Please help..
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): Hi thereI cant seem to log back into my account. Id just like to thank you both for your contributions to my problem. Its good to get a guy and girl perspective! I dont have many male frds as most of them turned into more so i guess thats why i have an opinion on m/f friendships. I recognise i am not perfect and overeacted before but i made it clear to him a year ago id try harder to accept female frds. He told me stories about other girls but just never mentioned her. Thats why i went mad. Although i agree with male writer that i should give him more space and perhaps am controlling, i equally agree with the female writer that says that he has made me this way. I found it quite hurtful when i found out but he couldnt understand that. All i could think was could i put up with a lifetime of this.I guess i have alot to think about. But thank you both.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): Okay, first of all I do not feel that you are controlling him. His behavior while being in a relationship is absolutly ridiculous. What kind of "man" who has a girlfriend is going to parties and taking other girls email addresses? Ask yourself this...why does he need it? If she lives so far away as he claims, why in the world would he want her email address if he has you? If he is taking the time to email a girl miles away, he OBVIOUSLY fancies her!!! How can you not see that?No offense, but he sounds messed up. No wonder your jealous/controlling! Because he makes you that way. Find a guy who treats you right- the way you deserve to be treated. I know that I would never deal with my boyfriend going to parties and asking other girls for their emails. Thats just wrong on so many levels. If you leave him alone for a while, and I mean actually leave him alone- no texting, calling, etc. He will come back to you, and in my opionion, I think you should give this guy what he deserves, which is the middle finger. You can do SO much better!
...............................
|
