A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi well here is my problem ive known this guy or years we met at 9 years old and went out with eachother for a few years, then when i was 13 i moved away.when i was 27 i bumped into him again we are both married with children we were friends and then he started to txt me saying he thought i was attractive etci went through a hard time latley and he was very surrportive i told him i couldnt speak to him as my husband didnt like it and i hoped he wouldnt hate me he said he could never hate me. and that he hated the thought of me being with my husband and not him.we eventually met up and he kissed me, this was fine but he then asked me what i thought would have happened to us if i hadnt moved away? i replied that i prob would have ended up like his wife and he would prob be doing things behind my back, he responded by squeezing my leg hard.so i txt him after about a day and asked why he had asked me this and he said he thought it better if we were just friends?whats going on im confused help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): "i prob would have ended up like his wife and he would prob be doing things behind my back"
Yes, you hit the nail on the head. You probably aren't having much "luck" with the relationship now because you actually recognize exactly what he is like, and you are like.
Quit cheating and work, work, work on that marriage...and don't see him, don't text him, and don't email him again...it's all cheating at this point.
A
female
reader, Viv Acious +, writes (11 November 2010):
Hello.
It seems that the two of you are playing with fire.
OK, let me try and break this down to the bottom line. You are married with children. Your Ex is married with children. You and your ex have been texting each other, seeing each other and now have kissed one another (which is fine, how?). Do you have any sense of guilt about this? What about your husband? Do you love him? Do you want to stay with him? What would happen if he found out?
As for your Ex - what about his wife? His kids? Do you have any sense of guilt about them at all?
Yes, you are better off as friends. And your instincts are correct - yes. he would be cheating on you if you were together - and you'd probably be cheating on him too. Why? because that's what you two are doing now!
Work on your marriage and not on an affair.
I hope this helps and the best of luck to you.x
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 He wanted to find out if he could do a better job than your husband but your response showed him that he's just a typical, clueless guy who couldn't crack the marriage code, make a woman happy. An affair is not the most beautiful thing. You should be happy that he didn't go further, because then you would be doing things behind your husband's back too. You already had by accepting a kiss.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): This guy obviously wants a bit on the side. You thought it was "fine" he kissed you? He cheated on his wife don't get yourself involved. He just wants to reminisce about the good old days by the sound of it. His marriage has probably gotten a little dull and he's looking for some excitement.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Stay away from this man, he is confused and he is going to drag you down a dangerous path if you keep this up. You let him kiss you even though you are married and so is he, it says to me that you both dont respect your husband and wife very much. He might have just realised that what he is doing is wrong and that he loves his wife and its not worth ending his marriage for a quick fumble with you.
Try putting your thoughts in to your marriage and how you can improve it, stay away from this man because you will end up playing with fire here.
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