A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi. i have a boyfriend of a few months now. he is nigerian and im romanian. colour and race difference doesnt mean anything to me and nor does it him. the proplem is i live with my parents and they dissaprove and wont let me see him. so i sneak out to see him. which adds some strain on the relationship. we usually go and hang out by a kind of meeting place were all his fellow country men are. the proplem is that im the only white girl there and this makes me stand out and also one of the only girls there as it is a place were all the guys meet after work. so that gives me extra attention and the other guys all try to come on to me and try get me to tshake there hand and come to close for my liking. i mentioned it once to my boyfriend but he just said that theres nothing to worry about and that he trusts me completley and knows that im not going to do anything if he goes away for a minute. the proplem is also that im afraid to say to much cause there is nowhere else that we can go. this situation makes me feel very uncomfortable to be around so many men like this..tnx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): i do not feel this is a comfortable place for your boyfriend to take you. It is, as you say, a men's only hang-out. And i am gaining the impression that your boyfriend is parading you as an OBject of envy, in the faces of the other men there , some of whom may not have girlfriends. His (completely lacking in empathy) behaviour puts you at risk of harm. Which potentially means this venue, full of men, could quickly develop into a rougher place very quickly, putting you in an unsafe position. Your boyfriend is commenting on your concerns, as if the only potential issues are what affects him, not as it affects you. Tell your boyfriend that it is not respectful to you, to take you to a place, where no other man takes a woman. There are more respectful places he could take you, if he really cares.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 The issue is not him being able to trust you, it's that you are not comfortable there and he needs to know that. Your boyfriend should protect you, feel confident enough to tell them to back off if they are out of line. Just a little thing here. I get the impression that he can only think about himself. It's not an ideal place for you, but for your boyfriend feels proud of you. The other black guys don't know that's the only place you can meet so they could only think he's trying to show you off. Race and color don't matter to you but since you care about how other people feel, it means a lot somehow. When you are together do you get to know each other better or is it just mingling with other people? What other expectations do you have for your relationship?
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