A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I never asked anything about that before, so it's kinda weird to me right now, but i really need some advice.Here's is what is going on.A few months later i had a threesome with my girlfriend and a female friend of ours and it was very nice, despite the fact that i didn't have any intercourse with our friend. Actually my girlfriend started it but me and our friend liked it. All this months we didn't do anything but i was very excited and wanted to do it again. A few days later we were about to do it again but my girlfriend had to go so we stoped it there.The problem is, that, now i find myself having some very strong sexual feelings for our friend and i really mean that. I think all that feelings for her started this time, months before, but i tried to hide them and trying to stop myself from thinking about it. But now all these came back to my mind.In all this confusion, the real problem of mine is that i love my girlfriend very much. I can't just walk away from her and try to be with the other girl, just sexually. It's really a nightmare to me. Recently, I found myself having sex with my girlfriend and imagine that the other girl was present, having sex with us.It's just so bloody confusing for me.I don't know if all this really has to worry me so much , if it's just something temporary or if I became so selfish. I really don't know what to do.Sorry for the big question and thanks to everyone who is going to give me some advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): I don't understand why everyone wants a threesome. The proof that they just cause problems is right there. I would suggest you spend some time away from your friend so you can figure out your feelings and then decide what you want to do.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 You want to sleep with the other girl, but know that it wouldn't be right. So, either you don't do it, or you do. And the two females have to know.
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A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 if you really love and care for your girlfriend, you absolutely need to put a large distance between you and this other girl. cut all ties with her and do not communicate with her anymore. or at least until you have a good grip on your feelings for her. eventually the lust will probably fade. unfortunately, this girl sounds like she's friends with your girlfriend, as well, so this may cause some problems and make cutting ties a bit trickier. but just try to find creative ways to avoid hanging out with her for a while. tell your girlfriend you want some alone time rather than spending time with her, etc. and no matter what...do NOT, under ANY circumstance, have another 3-some with this girl.it's fairly common in long term relationships to meet other people that spark your interest. it's how we choose to handle these situations that truly shows our character. best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): Generally, threesomes cause problems in relationships, as you're experiencing. Although it can be "nice" to have so much attention from two women at once, there are also some downsides -- emotional turmoil and serious confusion about feelings.
If you truly love your girlfriend and are only interested in the other girl sexually, you have to decide what's more important to you: a relationship or just sex, no strings attached. It sounds like you're going to have to make the choice, since you can't handle both simultaneously (i.e. in a threesome situation).
I highly recommend you distance yourself from this other woman and focus on your relationship with your girlfriend. Then, if you're finding yourself still seriously dissatisfied, you can make a more informed decision. However, going behind your girlfriend's back to have sex privately with another woman is not OK unless you've both agreed that you are not monogamous (or monogamous, aside from threesomes you're involved in together).
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