A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been married to my husband for 5 years and been in a relationship with him for almost 10 years.Our relatonship is great but lately I have been having dreams about a threesome and the thought of it really turns me on.surprizingly i fantasize about a threesome with another girl instead of a man.I think about making out with another girl while my husband enjoys watching us or even him making love to another girl and me watching them. Once when we were at a club and drunk,my husband starting dancing with this really attracive girl.He was holding hugging/holding her tightly from he back and instead of getting jealous i enjoyed the sight and even took some pictures of them. Few days back me,one of my girl friend and my husband we got drunk at our house and my husband asked me to ask her if she was interested in a threesome.She said no so nothing happened but since then I have been having dreams about having sex with girls. i have masturbated a few times thinking about a three some with a girl.I'm confused about my sexuality and my questions are:Am i bisexual or just curious because i have only been with one man?Is a three some good idea and how to go about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): I don't know if you're bi-sexual...I guess it's possible. As for your idea of a 3-some, while 3-somes look like a blast in porn, it's pretty tricky terrain when you are in a committed relationship or married. Actually, it's just plain dangerous. What happens quite a lot is one of the committed partners ends up jealous or attached to the third wheel and it creates a never ending shit-storm in the relationship, causing it to break down completely at some point. If you were single and unattached, I'd say hell yeah, go for it! But, now that you are married things are different. You have more to lose now. You have to ask yourself if you want to possibly risk your marriage just to satisfy your curiosity keeping in mind that the risk is quite significant.
A
male
reader, Moonknight  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 That is a very good way to destroy a relationship... by bringing someone else into it, i would highly suggest not to engage in such things when you have a healthy relationship.However saying that... you and your husband have made it to 5 years married so clearly you both have an understanding for each other that no one else will ever come to understand like you two.So do you want to fix what ain't broken? or go for it?The other poster made out that your husband will be the one to possibly loose his grip and ruin it all, but from what i read it seems like he is only going along with it purely because your desire is giving him permission to fondle other women.Your urges could in fact allow you to loose your grip and open the flood gates.From my own experience i can say it's very easy to want more/others into your committed relationship, when you have it good... you will with no doubt find it harder and harder, and it will start to stress your marriage.If you choose to go forward with it, try you and another girl first before you allow your husband to penetrate another woman... there is no going back from that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): Hello!
Yes, the threesome is risky simply because you have emotions tied in with your husband and because of that risk I just wouldnt even try it in reality. Also, so many questions can be unanswered and dangling upon you afterwards like am I bisexual? Should I be married? Did he enjoy it as much as I did? Are we gonna do it again?... all of those relate to some kind of emotion within the relationship and once u bring them out with another person and break that privacy of your relationship things could be very difficult.
Also, I will HIGHLY advise not to make this decision under the influence of alcohol as it is indeed a depressant and proven to impair judgment and decision making.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (22 December 2010):
 I don't think your bi-sexual because everything you have wanted to do includes your husband. You're a sensual female, which many are, and aside from a guy's masculinity, I have found many women are curious and somewhat aroused by the sensuality of another woman. Does that make you bi-sexual? Not at all. You want to add some spice, and in doing so your sexuality has expanded. It sounds like your husband wants to do this with you also. What you two want to do together is healthy sexuality. Just keep in mind where your priorities are. I've talked with couples who have done this, but then it damages their relationship, where he gets greedy and thinks it opens the door to him bringing the other woman home just for them two to have fun, and there have been times where the woman has brought the other woman home for fun too, but in doing so they exclude their spouse. So, if you do this, set boundaries that you both agree upon. You don't want doing this to ruin the happiness you two share in your marriage.
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