A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Everytime i'm trying to have a normal conversation with people, something wrong comes out. It gets weird and they will all try to correct me. I dont know the way to speak to people and it hurts me daily. I always feel stupid and useless to this world. My life is full of disappointments. My parents dont even get along. They always quarrel. Its so complicated around the house. My dream is to become a medical doctor. It scares me now that i might not reach my goal because i find it hard to socialize with people. So im always the quiet one. I hardly start conversations and usually alone if not with my friends. Im perplexed...i dont really know what to do..:( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 42un  +, writes (10 March 2013):
To be a good doctor you need to be a good listener and it sounds like you are good at that. And the best way to flatter people and to have a conversation with them is to be interested in them, think about it like being a TV chat show host with a celebrity on the sofa.The host always shows interest in the celebrity and the celebrity opens up. Don't take it too far but use it as a way to open up and continue a conversation, it's also a great way to have a decent conversation with someone older than you. Make the conversation all about them to start with and after that, who knows :-)You will find rare good friends who you will be able to have completely inappropriate and ludicrous conversations, it's a great way of practicing what will (and won't!) work in other situations where you are with classmates, teachers, colleagues and bosses.If you ask people if they are good at socialising you will find that most say that they aren't, it is a learned skill, very few people are naturally good at it but eventually we all learn. Some people just don't need that many people to talk to and others love the variety, each is equally valid.You sound to me intelligent and resourceful with a future in Medical Science. By getting on with it and following your dreams your confidence in social situations will grow.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 March 2013):
 OP, for us to be able to give you some sort of an answer, you should kindly elaborate a little. What do you mean by " wrong " and " weird " ?
What are the difficulties exactly- you pop up with things that you never meant to say... you are unable to stay on topic and go off on a tangent... you stammer... you want to speak but shyness holds you back...you can't get the " feel " of the conversation, i.e. you joke when they are serious and viceversa... ? Etc.etc.
According to what's the problem, it could be from natural shyness, to Tourette's syndrome or ADD or... tons of things... or absolutely nothing wrong, actually.
Whatever it is, I am glad you say you DO have friends, so, at least, even if the conversation is a bit difficult, it can't be THAT bad :)
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (10 March 2013):
PLEASE PLEASE dont be so hard on yourself and try and relax a little. You are young and growing and learning all the time .Its not easy being 16-17 at some levels quiet painful. and you will fine Would you consider joining a drama group and have fun while your talking.Maybe later a debating groupe. ALL this would be helpful for you .Give youself time and all will work out for you Kind wishes Nora B.
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