A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi all,im concerned about my girls insecurity, recently iv noticed she gets snippy when i talk to my female friends, and she gets in a bit of a strop about it sometimes, she dosent seem to think she is pushing my female friends away by making them feel alienated, she comments on things that i say to them on facebook and it comes accros as negative, when quized about ot she says that everybody is taking it out of context and no one understands her, yet she is better with words to my male friends, i ask her if she has a problem with me having friends of the opposite sex, and she says no, no problems at all.im summary i am thinking "Dafuq?" is it that she knows she has a problem, but dosent want to say incase it chases me off, or is it subliminal, shes in so much denial about it...my female friends dont talk to me that often anymore and i deal with them regularly :/another incident today, i had a picture of megan fox, in black and white lying on her front as my phone background, it came with it on, so iv left it...however my gf has only just noticed this, its been there sbefore we started going out, she told me to het rid of it, it is not redpectful, iv had this phone for a while now, since it came out in the shops and never looked at the picture behind all the icons...my galaxy s2 has lots btw.i dont think its right that she demands me to remove the backgroumd because she thinks its raunchy...a little background info, she dosent like me watching porn, and tellse she would dump me if she caught me watching it or found out i was, a few months ago when we statted dating i told her i watched a lot of porn...she seemed ok with it but gradually she lost tolerance for it and asked me to stop watching it, which i said ok to, she fufils my needs so why watch it? i used to read fhm magazine, the sun and a few similar magazines like that, she asked me to stop, the girls in their bikinis are not acceptable , that was something that i felt was a little oppressive of the regular me, and now the model background on my phone that is barely visible? where do her friggin goalposts sit? i do a lot for this girl, more than i normally would care, so why does she keep changing whats ok and what is not? i find it frustrating, should i have protested or just change it like i did? will it get worse?sincerely very confused and frustrated but in love
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LovelyLemon  +, writes (24 May 2012):
 It's not ok for her to alienate your female friends, but mny women do feel insecure when other women are so important to their man. Just be open about what you're talking about (not like tracking, just like filling in), and maybe have all of you hang together sometime so she feels more comfortable with them.
As for the Megan Fox pic, all I can say is...really? Just take the damn picture off. You are entitled to have whatever you want as your background, but you know that it strikes a soft spot in her insecurities, so keeping it as your background is just childish. You don't have to delete it, but I would be offended if my bf had that as a background too.
Much love and Best wishes
A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (24 May 2012):
 OMG she sounds liek a nutter!... Insecure and jealous person who scares away your friends! What on earth are you doing?
Porn is a normal thing for a man to look at. Men are visual creatures and its not like your sleeping with them! Geez! My man watches porn and I have no issue with it at all. As long as he comes home to me of a night I don't mind a bit :)
As for female friends, if my partner had no female friends I would think there was something wrong with him. Its importatnt to have friends. Even of the opposit sex.
Megan Fox? The woman is a hottie, ( I am not gay) but lets face it she is a stunning looking woman! I may not look like her but thats ok too! I like the way I look and I am confident that my man is happy and I am confident in our relationship. This is why I would have no issue with megan fox being on his phone ( I have Sons of Anarchy Jax Teller ) yum.
I think this girl has some serious issues along with the poster before (the one who is the "Same") as your girlfriend.
basically you are going to have to talk to her and explain to her the same way you have with us. Perhaps she is insecure or maybe there is a reason she has gone nuts? Either way this is not a healthy situation for you to be in.
talk to her but if you don't get the answers you want make sure that you are ready to walk away.
Good luck OP!
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A
female
reader, curious1987 +, writes (24 May 2012):
 I think ur gf is over reacting. I don't mind guys watching porn, but i always ask my bfs not to do it in the same room as me or when im not around. I know bout 80% guys do it. lol. as for the picture on yr phone, its not a friend in bikini on yr phone so u shouldn't have to change it. as for the magazines, it no different then girls reading girly mags. u shouldn't have to stop reading them. And lastly as for the not being able to talk to urn female friends that is stupid u were friends with them before u were with her, so y should have to change who u hang with to suit her? It sounds like she is very insecure. Yell her ur not going to stop talking to ur female friends. And that she has to stop with the snide remarks. U only have one option. if she is making u lose friends then maybe u should as a last resort think of ending it with her. Give her and ultimatuiom. good luck.xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): No, I don't think you necessarily need to change. She is overreacting,but I think you should have a talk with her to see what she is comfortable with and to tell her what you want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): I'm the same, no photos of women allowed, NO PORN... Omg it makes me livid he did that, i hate fhm too. Why didn't you take the pic off? Female friends are annoying but not that bad. She sounds just like me, i can't stand anything to do with another woman. My current boyfriend is slightly asexual so i'm lucky!
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