A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:We are often advised to commit ourselves 100% to any activity or relationship we undertake so that we can get as much out of it as possible and have no regrets. Some people also say commitment doesn't necessarily mean forever. So what does this mean in terms of the actions we can take?When I start a new venture, whether it's work, social, relationship, hobby or whatever, I often soon notice all the myriad possibilities for growth and enjoyment that there is in the world and I yearn for yet more new experiences. As I keep chopping and changing my priorities like this though, I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere or establishing any meaningful place in the world. I find it hard to say who I am, what I want or where I'm going, start feeling despondent and lose my excitement about whatever new experience I've just embarked on. I think I'm afraid of missing out on anything, of closing doors of opportunity.To give a specific example, I recently started a new relationship and was very excited about it and now I'm thinking about all the other posible relationships I could have. Does being committed mean ignoring those thoughts and focusing on the one I'm with or taking those thoughts as indicating that I'm not really with my new love interest and moving on or is it all just a matter of choice?I think a clearer idea of what commitment means to me would allow me to accept my choices more. So what is commitment?
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks twist of fate, HonningKanin and anon for your answers. Overall, I think we can gather that commitment CAN be a purely personal, subjective thing and includes being dedicated to causes that may be continually changing, developing and renewing. We can be in a continual state of commitment even though what we are committed to is always changing. I think it's a matter of choice, and I don't think that style of commitment is what I want for myself. Don't know about anyone else out there.
However, I DO see the value of that style of commitment as a commitment to finding what works for us - we commit to finding what we want by putting 100% into continually correcting our course. Just takes a lot of courage.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): commitment
• noun 1 dedication to a cause or policy. 2 a pledge or undertaking. 3 an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
Hope this helps
...............................
A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (29 May 2008):
 I really like your question. It honestly makes me think about the choices I made in my life to try and help you and frankly I cant give you a 100% definition of what commitment is because in this lifetime we have the option of going through infinate doors with infinate options inside them which all lead to infinate ending but we have only a finite amount of choices. The main thing that goes through my head when I read your question is "Jack of all Trades Master of none." Generally if you dont follow through with a decision you will never master it and complete it. This is where dedication is more a problem. Commitment it would seem is easy really, but to dedicate yourself is to work hard at what it is you already have and maintain it. People commit to marriages, but lack the dedicaton to making it lasting marriage. The work that is involved seems to bore them to tears and they become fustrated and lose interest because its not easy anymore and its not new.Its normal to lose the luster of whatever it is you commit yourself to. The main thing you will want is the dedication to continue doing it not unltimately for pleasure, but for personal growth.My advice to you is not be afraid of the things you will miss out on otherwise you will end up going mad with regret and things that could be or could have been. I have prepared myself a list of things I die and will try to tick them off the list as I go but I am very prepaid to realize I may not get a chance to complete this list. I am still happy with what I have done though so far.With relationships, that is up to you if she is worth working for.
...............................
|
