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Cock Teasing Wife

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 April 2019) 7 Answers - (Newest, 27 April 2019)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Wife, with already killer body, lost 12 lbs on some diet shes doing and started wearing tighter clothes when she goes out. This was fine until she started wearing more revealing clothes and her trips out became longer and later at night. I tried to talk to her but she became irrational and commented that a little cock teasing is fun. I found diet pills in her purse which could explain her getting irrational but her fun is out of hand and potentially dangerous

Is there a different approach to take ?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntTo the anonymous female reader who posted just before this: you need a reality check. No, rape victims are not "asking for it" because of the clothes they wear and, in a perfect world, we should be able to walk around naked (if we choose) and still be safe. HOWEVER, we do not live in a perfect world. Far from it. If people don't know you, the only way they have to judge you is by your looks. If you dress provocatively, there are SOME men out there who will assume you are "up for it", especially if (as it sounds from this post) the lady concerned ACTS in a provocative manner as well.

Sounds to me like this lady is bored of her marriage and looking for excitement outside of the relationship. Op, you need to add excitement back into your marriage before she FINDS it elsewhere. Have you got into a rut? Do you still have fun together? Do you treat her like a lover, not just a wife and housekeeper? Do you tell her how attractive she is? Do you take her on romantic dates? Do you surprise her with little romantic presents and gestures? Remember how you courted her and then compare it to how you treat her now. Step up and remind her why she married YOU, not someone else. Rekindle the excitement, romance and love in your marriage and she will prefer to stay with you than going out with her friends looking for "fun".

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2019):

Wow does no one see the control here like I do? She wants to escape it only if it is only for a short time.She is in danger because of her clothes?Really? That is like saying a rape victim asked for it because of what she wore. As a woman I find this very offensive. I knew a woman who did the same thing your wife does and her husband beat her on a regular basis. You sound just like him.I hope she can escape away from you and be safe. Does anyone else see what I see?Dude you need help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2019):

I think she just enjoys the ego boost from others finding her attractive. And deep down, don't we all? I think if we really explore that most of us do, and many women do things to look good they say it is "for themselves" but deep down they want praise for it, preferably from other men. It doesn't mean she wants to cheat, it just means she gets adrenaline from having all the men want her.

Now, your concerns are completely valid though and I don't think she should be wearing extremely revealing things. As you say, that isn't safe and I don't think she needs to do that. She should be seeking validation in other ways. Yes, looking good sure but not going overboard with the slutty look. She needs to be willing to compromise here, and be reasonable.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntDo you just sit at home while she goes out?

If so, then why don't you GO out too? (not saying to pick up women but to SHOW her how it feels). If you can't or don't want to go out, ask her HOW she would feel if you went out chatting up other women and why she thinks it's OK in a marriage.

And yes, I think you need to take the bull by the horn and tell her how it makes you feel and how worried for your marriage and her safety you really are.

I do agree that she is trying to show off for someone OTHER than you and that she perhaps is BORED in her marriage with you. Diet pills, how ever won't fix the latter.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2019):

N91 agony auntAre you worried about her cheating?

It sounds to me as if she’s trying to impress someone and it’s not you.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2019):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntTime for counselling. Aside from dressing up nicely for herself, people don’t generally do this teasing if they’re happy in their marriage. Maybe you’re both missing things from each other and a therapist could help you figure out what.

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A male reader, Phil052 United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2019):

Phil052 agony aunti would be a bit worried if it was me, especially as she seems to be enjoying the 'cock teasing' as she put it. She could be putting herself in danger and she is showing you no respect, it's as if she is trying to end the relationship by goading you. I suggest you tell her how you feel about her behaviour.

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