A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy at work (we work in separate departments) and he is always trying to chat me up. I thought he just wanted to be friends a "friendly co-worker" relationship, but I bought up about a vacation trip and said I went with someone and his whole face dropped, he kept wanting me to clear up who this person was and I honestly wish I lied and said it was my boyfriend. He felt relieved and he still, to this day, keeps chatting me up since the same time last year.What is the best way to reject this guy? He is extremely persistent, and I've tried keeping conversations short, retaining a lot of information about myself (i.e. last name) and avoiding eye contact, but he keeps staring at me. I'm at my wits where I want to bluntly say "I don't like you" - but there has to be a better way to say it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2019): Well I see little evidence here that he is actually into you. So he chats with you at work? I do that with tons of coworkers, it doesn't mean i'm into them. His face fell about a vacation? Maybe he was envious that you got to go away? You really can't assume much from that.Or WORST case scenario he has a little crush on you-- since WHEN is that a crime? He has NOT mentioned the crush ONCE to you, nor actually asked you out!!! So, first of all you are ASSUMING he has a crush on you and you don't even know, SECONDLY, HOW can you reject someone who hasn't even made an attempt to date you?It would be inappropriate to "refuse" him when there is nothing to refuse. Continue as you are being cordial but not overly friendly. I think he gets the picture. IF and ONLY IF, he tries to ask you out, THEN you explain that you aren't interested. Sorry, but you come off as a little egotistical. To assume he is Obsessed with you or something because he chats and you are SO afraid...of what? REally?!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 April 2019):
 I think N91 is right on the money,
JUST use that sentence there.
‘I’m getting the feeling that you’re interested in something romantic here but i'm not interested and don’t get involved with people at work’.
And then BE OK with NOT having to chat with him every time you see him at work. You can be "busy" and just smile and wave and go about your business.
I think he is making the PRESUMPTION that because you TALK to him, you are ALSO interested.
So step one - use that sentence like N91 mentioned and Two. cut down on the chatting and hanging out. BE too busy.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (23 April 2019):
 Why lie about it? Just be straight.
‘I’m getting the feeling that you’re interested in something romantic here but im not interested and don’t get involved with people at work’.
Easy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2019): Act like a grown up and tell him that you are not interested in him.
If he keeps persisting after that then tell him that you will take it up with his boss if doesn't repect your space.
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