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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Well, I finally found out after a half a year of contact/dating/whatever that this guy whom I met online is a complete douchebag. Looking back on it, things went a bit fast with intimacy-, even though at the time it was something that I wanted. But I realize that it clouded the progression of the "relationship" and my judgement to see the guy for what he really was. I even called him out on it when I had a couple of indicators go off in terms of dates being cancelled at the last minute and through periods of where I'd never hear from him. Plus with his endless excuses as to why things were progressing the way they were. I just can't believe that I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Juggling a multitude of women at the same perhaps? I even went so far as to asking him if this was just a casual sex relationship. Even though it wasn't exactly what I wanted, I wasn't against the idea since we got along in that arena pretty well. I just wanted him to be up front with me with his intentions. Hell, I would have respected him more and probably would have gone along with it as I would have kept my feelings out of the equation.But the entire time, he kept saying that he wanted more than that...and he saw it more than just a sexual thing. How he missed me. How he was looking forward to spending more time together...blah blah blah.I actually believed him. At one point I started developing feelings for him. He even did somethings that actually made me want to see him more in a positive light. But the silence (again he's disappeared!) coming from him speaks in volumes. Gosh, I made myself so vulnerable and open to this guy with my feelings and everything else and thought that through his efforts he was doing the same. From the beginning we talked about being honest with each other with what we both wanted but now it doesn't seem that way. I don't want to jump the gun since we haven't talked since our last date but, I'm wondering if this guy played on my feelings (and the fact that I had gotten out of a relationship) in order to "get it in".What should I do?
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female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (8 May 2012):
Don't have anything else to do with him. He's not relationship material and you seem to want (and quite rightly so) a more respectful and loving relationship.
You do not have to take second best, or talk yourself out of someone's obvious flaws.
Plenty more fish in the sea, honestly.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2012): If your gut feeling is that he is using you, end it with him. It sounds as if he is being a bit cool and words mean nothing as it is actions that tell you more. I would waste no more time on him. Try and pin him down to telling you whether you have a relationship in a real sense, if you have, to but I'd say you know the answer.
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