A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who I don't see very often but we're close and can talk about anything.She went on a school trip abroad with these girls who used to bully me at school and still talk about me behind my back. The only problem is is everyone thinks they're angels because they're too clever to get caught.They all come back from the trip and suddenly they're good friends and my friend has even told them about her recent and serious problem with a guy! The only people that really knew about her problem were me and my best friend. They both already knew about the bullying and told me they didn't like them, especially as the girls had called one of them some horrible names behind their back.It's just a shock to see them together!Whenever I am with my best friend the girls come over and try to discuss the boy situation and pretty much take her away from me even though they know I know about the issue too. I know that they're trying to mess with me because they only seem to want to talk to her when I'm around. It's not fair on my friend either who is trying to get over this boy and bringing it up all the time doesn't help. They may genuinely want to help but I know that's not their main motive.Both of my friends think they're great but still know the details and still want to be around these girls. I've told my best friend how I feel but my other friend who is having the problems seems quite awkward around me now. I don't want to see them hurt by these girls but I don't want to go to school everyday and have to deal with the possibility that I might be losing my friends- what can I do?
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 If these girls are as two faced as you think they are they it's only a matter of time before they screw up and show your best friend how ugly and mean they really are.
In the mean time spend a little less time with your friend, and be very careful not to tell her anything you don't want the bullies to know. Because it sounds like that is waht they are really after. That plus they think it's funny to steal your best friend away.
Hopefully she will learn this for herself before the friendship is permanently damaged. But there isn't much else you can do about it if she is too dumb, or scared of them to see it for herself. You have told her what they did to you and warned her not to trust them.
Now all you can do is walk away with your head held up high.
Tell her you'll be around when they turn on her like they turned on you, but until then you have better things to do.
Like make a new friend. Look for other girls that have reason not to like the bullies as much as you do if you can. That way you already will have something in common with her/them. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that...
As for your old best friend, be prepared to wait it out, it may take a year or more before she gets wise to them and comes back to you.
I went through something like this when I was in high school and it wasn't until after we graduated that I got my best friend back. The good news is 24 years later we are still best friends and those other people are long gone from both of our lives. She was worth the wait, maybe your friend will be too one day.
A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (13 May 2011):
 Dont worry to much about this. its natrual. School is a popularity contest! kids go with the crowd. bullies tend to be the most popular kids. any chance a not so popular kid can increase thier profile they will. unless your a popular girl theres nothing you can do. Try and develop as many friendships as you can and dont get under any impressions that you will be friends for life with anyone coz people always go thier seperate ways. all part of growing up. This issue is higher than your bieng!! its just nature and psychology taking place!
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