A
female
age
36-40,
*enada846
writes:I am a young professional who is working in a corporate corporate stable company.I have been working at my company for 6 months now and I seem to get caught up in the cliques and gossips triangles that my coworkers make and it's affecting my mood. I have to work directly with these women but they always have a comment and they always try to stir the pot and start drama; lately it's been impossible to ignore them. We also sit in close cubicles so I feel like they watch what I do and it's hard to ignore them without being obvious and rude. I realize though that the cattyness and the gossip it's not me and I just don't want to do that - how can I not let it bother me? I can't quit my job. I just got there and people tell me there is bad people or people that start drama on purpose at every job. Does anyone have any tips? I feel like every day there is an issue and they are instigators and people that want to use somethjng you said or did just to start something; they are also very rude and very quick to snap back at you - any advice would be great
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2016): I have lived a few more years than you and have encountered a lot of this in the past. People are people and although the players are different wherever you go, human nature is exactly the same. And almost predictable.I have learned to let it all slide. I have built a wall around me and a suit of armour which insulates me from anything or anyone I don't like. It takes a bit of practice and experience as you must emotionally detach from these things. And, you can. And put the focus on yourself and what you like and what's important to you. And put yourself ABOVE all others. And convince yourself to change your thinking. Like, they do not matter. Like, poor them, they are all the same. I am above them. I am enlightened. And they have no clue how predictable or stupid they are. It is really that simple. Change the dialogue in your head. You will never change others. But you can become CONFIDENT enough in yourself to have that wall there so that nobody could ever get through it and hurt you or affect your own self worth which you OWN at the end of the day, not them. Never give unimportant people your power. Head held high. The people that matter are those who are worth our effort. Not those who don't. These pathetic people will go through life this way. You don't have to give a shit. Remember, ignore and head held high. When they see they have no ammo with you and that you don't care, they will stop or move on. People act big and brave in groups and in certain environments. Get them one on one and they will not be this way. It shows weakness to go with the crowd. Once you know this, you will feel empowered. That you are different. And strong. And most importantly, unaffected. Unlike the rest of them.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (1 October 2016):
 I feel your pain. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. In fact, still there! I have found the best way to deal with this sort of bratish immature behaviour is to laugh it off and try to gravitate towards "nice" people. For instance, if someone is making a drama out of something, just smile, shrug and say something neutral like "oh dear" or "whoops" and either change the subject or walk off under the pretext of needing to do something elsewhere. You do not have to get dragged into other people's drama. Not saying it is easy, and some people will inevitably see it as "dissing" them. That is THEIR problem, not yours. Keep your head down and do your job conscientiously so as not to give them ammunition to use against you. If they are being nice, stay in the conversation. If they are not, walk away or do something else. They will soon get the message you don't want to be involved in their silly little dramas.
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