A
female
age
30-35,
*robanite
writes:Me and my boyfriend are both Christians and are waiting to have sex until we're married. I doubt we will end up marrying each other, but we are having a great relationship.I'm just concerned with how far we should go. We've made out a few times, and he's always getting hard ons. I know nothing we do will lead to sex, but I started rubbing his dick through his pants when we were making out once. We both get really aroused when we cuddle and are comfortable with it. We've even slept together a couple times. Like just cuddling and sleeping the whole night. We both really enjoy this and I see nothing wrong with it.I know oral sex before marriage would still be wrong, but what about giving him a hand-job? Or dry humping? I would really just appreciate advice from other Christians or even people who waited until marriage to have sex. Thank you!
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christian, dry sex, hand-job, oral sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Somehow along the way you've gotten confused that any sexual contact (outside of marriage) is o.k. If you continue to arouse each other, then eventually your emotions will take over and will lead to full sex. Have you thought of all the consequences? pregnancy? regret? As a christian, I had premarital sex with my husband (only), and it's been a little dark cloud over our marriage. My dream for You is to have no regrets, and save all sexuality for marriage. p.s. You can't MISS what you've never had, and abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): I'm not a christian, but if you do want to wait for sex until you get married, why are you spending time like this with someone you dont want to marry? i've got to tellyou sex is great, so look forward to that.
as far as your question is concerned it's purely what you think that matters. if you or your partner consider something as too far, don't do it.
one final word of warning, it's very easy to get carried away,so make sure you know exactly how far you want to go.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Sorry but I don't understand how doing every other act but ONE is saving yourself for marriage. It's all sex, in some way or other. Also I don't see why God would get angry at you for having sex, as long as you aren't both having sex with loads of people
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): As far as being a christian goes, if u have lusted... Then that is the same thing as having sex. Jesus is more concerned about what goes on in your mind and heart. So yeah, basically you are already having sex. Look at it like this. If your gonna give him a handy you may as well blow him. And if u blow him ya may as well bang him. Its all the same thing to God. A white lie is the same thing as a hand job to Him. Its sounds to me like you are like tons of other people and struggling with ur faith. My advice. Save yourself for the one you will marry and just have some good old fashioned oral sex with your boyfriend and be done with it! ~Amen
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (13 November 2008):
 If you want to abstain from sex before marriage and therein keep your christian laws then you certainly shouldn't be doing anything as intimate as sleeping together albeit intercourse doesn't take place. The word "virgin" in the bible relates to moral purity. You need to ask yourself "does giving my boyfriend a hand job or dry humping make me morally pure in god's eyes? It's all a matter of your faith and I'm certainly not going to judge you one way or another. Have a look at this christian website entitled "What's wrong with premarital sex?" It might help you come to a decision.
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20040722a/article_01.htm#fnt2_src
Personally I feel we are all put on this earth to EXPERIENCE! We have been given freedom of choice to do what we want to do therefore making our own road in life.
~Eve~
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): I hate to break the bad news to you, but you Are having sex! You may not have had intercourse yet, but if you are doing everything else...You Are Having Sex! So, step back and take a look at the situation and Why you both want to wait. If it's because you are Christians, and want to please God, then think about what you are doing...I consider myself a Christian, but I know I sin sometimes, only God is perfect. I'm not telling you to go all the way or not, that's entirely up to you. But I would think it would be an insult to God to say "Well I just gave him a blow job (or hand job)God, I didn't f**k 'em!)It's extremely admirable to wait for marriage and I commend you for the effort. But don't fool yourself into believing that you are doing those things with God's blessings!!!!!
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male
reader, Cowboy +, writes (12 November 2008):
I don't mean to sound harsh, but why aren't you asking this on a Christian forum?
You're asking for speculation about what the human beings that invented your god want you to do.
There are no clear cut rules about what you can get away with whilst still obeying the letter of the law as set out by your religion.
As far as orthodox Christian beliefs go, the things you've already done mean that you have sinned and are already going to hell, so you may as well enjoy yourselves ;oD
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Well I'm not a Christian but you have a free will, so you can do whatever you both want to do!
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female
reader, helpjayne +, writes (12 November 2008):
 I had a christian friend and she believed that anything was ok as long as you are not as one before marriage, perhaps you could look further into your religious guidelines.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 I think that the idea is, that there is a slippery slope and one thing can lead to another.
I feel bad about having gotten away from my faith, but I've still never "been there." Even at the ripe old age of 29 I'm still holding out hopes of marrying and I want something to look forward to.
I don't want to hurt the feelings of anyone with a different opinion, but I think that it's best to save any sexually intimate acts (which involve body parts a bathing suit covers). Otherwise, the temptation is there.
There's nothing wrong with a little kissing, though.
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