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anonymous
writes: Im a 31 year old mother of 2 children (8and 10) and i met my current boyfriend 3 years ago,we got on well upto FEB,2003 when he got his call up to Iraq with the army.We were apart for 5 months,but spoke nearly every day and wrote letters and emails,then he came home in the july of 2003,we were ok for a few weeks,then he bagan to drink alot,he drank alot before he went so the army cant be to blame, but he started to get verbally abusive to me,never violent with me,we argued about silly little things and petty things,we split up in November of 2003 then we got back together in march 2004 having chatted about it and decided to try again he said he would see a councillor for his problems which he did once,he seemed ok after his first meet with his councillor,then in september of 2004 i found out he had been practically living with another woman who was as shocked about me as i was about her,me and her chatted on the phone and she was devestated about it and told him she never wanted to hear from him or see him again He had met her in December 2003, when we were apart and he then admitted that she was just for convieninece sake as he didnt want to be alone, and that he had finished it with her in the june of 2004,this i belived, but to the contrary her story was a little different, so i let bygones be bygones and we decided to try and make a go of it,then i was on the computer in November 2004, and found out that he was or still is a cross dresser and a transvestite,of which he denied at first but when you have pictures to prove this he could not denie it anymore.He said it was about 5 years ago and he did it for escapsm purposes,i understood this then found things on the computer to say that he was occasionally when he could still doing this.I wouldnt have minded if he was honest with all this as its the decite i cannot handle,anyway this weekend (9th jan 2005) he went out on a complete drinking binge and spent £50.00 on beer in 2 pubs in our town,i was astounded when he came home totally slaughtered and i thought enough is enough,so i have asked him to pack his stuff of which he has done and hes at work as we speak.But in the last 2 months i have met someone at work who i have been able to chat with as my close family (my mum and sisters) live 8 hours drive away in Scotland,hes the only one i can talk too,we have become close and he has told me that he (my current partner) will not get any better and he can only help himself to get help! this is true as ive tried and begged him to get help with his drinking and the only reaction i get is "i wont change, im not giving up drinking and im not giving up smoking" he is also selfish and has in 3 years never taken me or the children out for a day out he would rather sit in the house on a hot summers day drinking ale and watching the TV.I want more for my children i want someone to give us that respect and to take us out and such,the children are not my current boyfriends, but i know he loves them as his own!This friend of mine is willing to take me and the children on,he is all i could ask for in a guy,and he is single and has no ties and we get on so well,and as i dont see him often at work maybe 2-3 times a month,i know work and outside work,wouldnt clash.I do still have some feelings not as strong as they once were, for my current boyfriend and i find it hard doing what im doing asking him to leave and all,but i just cant cope with coming down on various mornings and finding beer cans and empty take away wrappers all over the lounge floor,another thing is we hardly sleep in the same bed anymore him on the couch me in the bedroom,not out of choice just he falls asleep watching TV,and when hes had a drinking session.Im at a stand still what do i do? Please help me in this problem. Thanks.
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at work, got back together, split up, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (30 December 2005):
Leave. I'm sure you know this in your heart. Children are involved and they shouldnt have to be around the atmosphere casued by this mans problems
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