A
female
age
36-40,
*illixxxx
writes: was with my man for 2 years until he left me in may 2010 as he had met someone else although we kept in touch.2 months later we started meetin up as friendsm him sayin she was out his life,and he had only done it to push me away.We were gettin on well ( i was over th moon to have him bak in my life) and started sleeping together another month later.At this point i trusted his word and never doubted him, that was until found her at his place 1 night after he said he would meet me, he was ignoring my calls so i went to his and there they were. The next day he told me she just a mate, he was bored so text her t pop up, as a mate and i believed (let myself) him, how stupid looking back now.That was in august, we were still seeing eachother but it seemed so casual compared t before the split (another sign i ignored), and i had a gut feeling something jus wasnt right.1 mornin In october i logged into facebook and my world fell apart again, she had written love-notes on his wall and put that she was in a relationship, her mate asked who, she wrote my mans name. I nearly had a breakdown, couldnt get out of bed, jus could not believe it.After a few days of hearin how it me he wants, she nothin i let him back in again only to find her at his place in november.He swore that was las tym, new year new start he said yet iv still had that naggin feeling eating away because of how he is towards me at times, like ive been crying bout something, looking to him for comfort and get nothing.AL this led to me goin through his mobile lastnight only to find he still has her number, but the devastating thing is that he saved her num under 'Sarah babe xx''.i gave him my new number yesterday and its saved 'rhian'. I havent said anything to him yet as i feel so bad for snooping in his things yet i cant put into words how much it hurts, its like my worst fear has been proven true, that she is his babe, not me.advise would be great, im so weak from living this 18 months of hell, i just dont know how to handle it.thanks for reading :(
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female
reader, Star xxx +, writes (6 July 2011):
Clearly from what you have said he wants the best of both worlds, you can not force someone to be faithful so there are two options for you;
Either carry on with the way it is not trusting him, checking up on him on his phone and feeling miserable or get rid this may seem a very hard thing to do because of the way you feel for him but its the only way to find out how he really feels about you.
Ignorance can some times be a wonderful thing if you end a relationship that you are unsure about it quite often makes the other person take stock and makes them realise they do not want to loose what they have got.
If you do not get anything back then you know it was never meant to be and you can start to move on with your life and take it from me as much as now it feels like everything is falling apart you do get over it.
Take care xx
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