A
female
age
36-40,
*illixxxx
writes:I was with my man for 2 years until he left me in may 2010 as he had met someone else although we kept in touch. 2 months later we started meeting up as friends after he told me she was out his life, and that he had only done it to push me away. We were gettin on well ( i was over the moon to have him back in my life) and started sleeping together another month later.At this point i trusted his word and never doubted him, that was until found her at his place 1 night after he said he would meet me, he was ignoring my calls so i went to his place and there they were. The next day he told me she just a mate, he was bored so he sent her a text asking her to pop up, as a mate and i believed (let myself) him, how stupid looking back now. That was in august, we were still seeing each other but it seemed so casual compared to before the split (another sign i ignored), and i had a gut feeling something jus wasnt right.1 morning In october i logged into facebook and my world fell apart again, she had written love-notes on his wall and put that she was in a relationship, her mate asked who, she wrote my mans name. I nearly had a breakdown, couldnt get out of bed, just could not believe it. After a few days of hearing how it was me he really wants, that she meant nothing to him i let him back in again only to find her at his place in november. He swore that was last time. New year new start he said yet i still had that naggin feeling eating away because of how he is towards me at times, like ive been crying about something, looking to him for comfort and get nothing. ALl this lead to me going through his mobile last night only to find he still has her number, but the devastating thing is that he saved her number under 'Sarah babe xx''.i gave him my new number yesterday and its saved as 'rhian'. I havent said anything to him yet as i feel so bad for snooping in his things yet i cant put into words how much it hurts, its like my worst fear has been proven true, that she is his babe, not me. Any advise would be great, im so weak from living thru this 18 months of hell, i just dont know how to handle it.thanks for reading :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): Sweetie, you need to get out of this relationship NOW. This man is a liar, a cheater and doesn't deserve your love or devotion. He is not going to change. He is going to keep using you. He has lied to you time and time again, and you continue to believe him.
I was once in a similar situation. I was in a relationship with a man for two years and he cheated on me twice in that time. I forgave him the first time, but the second time he was out of my life. It hurt, I cried and lost sleep over it but I knew he would never change and my life would always be this... Crying, having no trust in him, constantly wondering what he's doing or who he could possibly be with, etc.
I changed my number and cut all ties between us. It's been three years since and I am happily engaged to a great man. Not all men are like this... but the one you have on your hands is garbage. So please toss him where he belongs!
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