A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can people actually get drunk enough and cheat on their loved ones?Mine cheated, however said it was because he drank. (he rarely gets drunk around other people, or if im not around, and no doesn't have a drinking problem)He was at a family event and felt secure enough to drink and a girl there 'supposedly' took advantage of him (she did spam text him NEXT to him until he said ok...) ... he's blown her completely off since we got back together.He vows never to get drunk without me present again because he knows it allows him to do something that insane.Thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you again for all of your amazing advice, I feel more relaxed and optimistic about everything. He truly is an amazing man, and it's a shame something like this had to occur.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni mean i understand the feeling of talking to her still bc you're worried she'd tell, but i dont' understand why he'd go that far.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk last thing hehe... I just don't get why a conv like this would occur:
Her: I'm having a bad day
Him: I bet I can make you smile
Her: lol
Him: Hah! I made you smile! What do I win?
Her: What do you want
Him: Well you do give the best head
Her: I know
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow keep in mind quiet echo that I didn't know this girl and they all live 3 hrs away so there wasn't a way for her to tell me etc, i was just sneaky enough to copy the number down when he got a text while with me hehe...as for the last post... I agree however he's had the chance several times before me and never did it, he's really not that kind of man.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): cheaters use alcohol as an excuse. they justify their cheating by saying that they were intoxicated at the time.
big mistake. they cheat becuase they want to. the end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat makes complete sense. Though I'm confused why he'd flirt after what he did with her, while still with me, before I knew... is my problem.
Do you think any flirting regardless while with me or not was just his guilt as well? Or did you mean just after we broke up until we made up?
Thanks again ...!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you kindly for your replies. It truly means a lot to me. Yes I am struggling to overcome this but honestly was just curious how often people 'do accidentally' cheat while intoxicated, and was hoping to hear other people's stories.
I guess my main worry is even though he didn't go back, why did he keep flirting and texting and continued until we got back together?
Or once again, am I over analyzing?
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (12 September 2009):
 This seems to be happening frequently these days. Sex under the influence (S.U.I.).The fact that he's completely blown her off tells me that she means nothing to him, and obviously you mean everything to me. Moreover it also tells me he knows what he did was wrong and though he might not have said it, he's ashamed of himself. It also tells me that, possibly though you don't say, he knows you care deeply about him and he hurt you.It takes time to forgive and move past something like this, and you need to be patient with yourself and him. Though you don't say it in your question, I have to assume that you and he are very emotionally connected to each other because you wouldn't be writing this here if this was not true.The two of you need to focus on this and look past the alcohol and find out what it was or is that happened, and how the two of you can avoid this happening again in the future. Try and be loving and gentle. By opening up to each other, not judging, and focusing on the trust issues, you can save your relationship.Finally, try and let the anger and the pain out. Ask him to help you do this. If he has to experience all of that with you, if he loves you, he'll be careful not to hurt you again and certainly will try and think about things before he does them.The only other solution for you would be to break up with him. I think the fact that you're trying tells me you don't want that to happen and neither does he.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): He gave you one of the oldest excuses in the book, guys always say that it was because of the drink, and it wont happen again but if he dont drink alot why would he do it then and why would he give in to that girl if he loves you, well its obvious that he isnt a good partner you can trust because he cheated, and used an excuse like that. Im sorry but his not right for you his only gunna give you more heartbreak x
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 Yeah, a girl took advantage of him...
You intrested in a bridge? I got one for sale.
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