A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I understand that both men and women can have the possibility to cheat and some act on that. My question is directed towards men. Do men who cheat, specifically married men, actually feel guilty for what they are doing? And if they do, where most likely is their guilty directed? Towards themselves, their spouse/gf, or their mistress?
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male
reader, tby1  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 I didn't have my sons so they would grow up in a split up family, I wanted them to be better and different than every other kid from this awful society we are in. I know I was wrong, and realised after that I'd made an error. But never did I mean to destroy and ruin my entire life, she will always be the only woman for me, my true love, yet she either pretends I'm lying or just won't believe me, nothing more i can do. Single and alone til the day I take my last breathe
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 January 2013):
It depends. You need to look at each situation, there’s no one type of cheat. Some are serial cheats, they either cheat on every partner they have, or they have a long-term partner or even spouse but have affairs regularly. They don’t feel guilt unless they’re caught. Some don’t care, others convince themselves that if no-one finds out no-one gets hurt and it’s okay, and they’re arrogant enough to believe they can get away with it. Other cheats may feel guilt about the impact on some-one they love. That might be regret for the hurt caused to the spouse, or the mistress if they’ve fallen for the cheat and the cheat won’t leave their spouse or believes that they can’t. Other people make silly mistakes: a drunken kiss, an encounter when emotionally vulnerable, and bitterly and sincerely regret what they’ve done. Essentially the cheat feels guilty if he or she has in some way acted contrary to their own moral code and sense of right and wrong. For some cheats therefore there’s no guilt, whilst for others there may only be self-pity if caught. However others are genuinely remorseful for their actions.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): - The wife.
-The mistress if she falls emotionally for the guy who isn't available for a commitment.
It depends on the specific situation in question.
The guy will be getting pleasure from the infidelity, so I doubt he will feel guilty on himself.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 January 2013):
 In order for a person to feel guilty about cheating (or anything else) they must have a conscience - or some moral/ethical standards - that are breached by the cheating....
There is a large spectrum of "conscience"..... from those who are terribly sensitive about treating "others" nicely, ... to those who could care less about who they harm/injure/hurt.....
In that spectrum, you will find guys who cheat on their partner or wife, are usually much closer to the "don't give a darn about HER" end.....
One detail that will give you some advance warning about such a guy, is to learn if he kicks his dog....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 January 2013):
 I think the big issue for cheaters is when they get caught. That's when they scramble for an acceptable 'story' to cover the situation.
The rest of the time I think they cheat because they can.
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