A
female
age
36-40,
*elf-ish
writes:I Cheated on my boyfriend. I am wracked with guilt. I have been with my boyfriend for five months and already know hes the guy I'm going to marry. There is no doubt in my mind hes the one for me. Yet I cheated.Not any excuse for this. He lives in another province, I seem him once every two months. I have had major self esteem issues since I was in a previous very abusive relationship. Two months ago I slept with a friend of mine on two seperate occasions. I don't know why. I was drinking, and he made me feel good about myself. Its hard to feel wanted by someone who lives 2 days away from you. This is the lowest point of my life. I can't tell my boyfriend. Because why lose someone I love so much, or hurt them, because of something so stupid. I will forever live with this guilt. Now I am in fear of being caught. My ex friend decided to tell some people in the small town he lives in. Everyone there now thinks I cheated on him. Except for him and his close friends who know me. This old friend of mine is manipulative and everyone thinks shes lying. Shes not though. And What would I do if she brought up names and dates, proof of my infidelity. I felt I could live with it as we had only been together for three months, only a month in the same city. And now I am moving to be with him in two weeks. Going to deal with the judgemental eyes of a small town. I could never tell him. I will deny it forever. Because to have him look at me with any distrust in his eyes would surely be the end of me. I love him so much. :(
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cheated on my boyfriend, infidelity, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): what is so wrong here is not the fact that you slept with another man, at the expense of the one true love of your life, but that you want to lie, and cover up your wrong doing.
having sex with someone else once, is a problem, but sleeping with him again tells you that you have issues you need to deal with. low self esteem is not what made you have sex with this other man, so please do not use it as an excuse.
you need to actually question yourself and need to make some hard, harsh decisions. the question is CAN YOU? Cheating so early on in a relationship is indicative of other hassles to come your way. you need to learn to be faithful or else you will mess up all the time.
your actions have consequences, so you need to face the music, one way or another. please do not hide the truth any longer from your boyfriend. at least you can learn to be honest from now on. if he accepts the truth then great, if not, you need to move on. stop hiding, stop lying, stop covering up the truth, you are looking like the "slut" the small town is branding you. you only have yourself to blame if the truth comes out to your b/f before you tell him, and believe me it will. stop covering up this mess.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 NEVER MIND HOW YOU FEEL!!
You ever stop to think how your boyfriend will feel when you tell him of your actions? Think about that when you were having sex with someone else? Bet you didn't huh? Nope cheaters are all selfish bottom feeders. You love your man so much you don't want to hurt him.....THAT SHIP HAS SAILED,
You say there is no excuse for this yet you attempt to justify it with the remainder of the paragraph...typical!
AND YOU MANAGED TO REPEAT THE ACTION....OH THE GUILT YOU MUST FEEL......GOOD!!!!
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING! EVER!
Tell your boyfriend and end it with him.
If you have ever read any of my posts you know that I treat all cheaters without one ounce of sympathy. So before you think I am singling you out for maltreatment...I am not...I give blanket denouncements of any and all cheaters
Let this poor guy have a life with someone who respects him...because its obviously not YOU!
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A
male
reader, Biff160 +, writes (21 April 2009):
You MUST tell him. If not for his sake, then for yours. One thing I have learned over the years, is that NOTHING stays buried forever.
My question is, How did you do it on two seperate occasions? This shows that your boyfriend is apparently NOT "the one" as you say. There is a difference between loving someone and knowing that you could spend the rest of your life with them.
To be honest, your boyfriend will probably break up with you. If he doesn't you should seriously consider the possibility that he has done the same. It may hurt now, but years from now, you will look back and remember how much it hurt and thus preventing you from doing it again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): I think you should tell your boyfriend. He has the right to know. I do not believe you can use the low self esteem and past abusive relationship as an excuse. I was mentally and physically abused by a raging alcoholic for almost 10 years before I left. I am now with my new partner and I would never in a million years cheat on him. Especially on 2 different occasions due to my own low self esteem. I do not believe you love this man, if you did you would have never done what you did.
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