A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There have been a few instances where my fiance has been caught lying about a woman he works with. Little lies that have made me think, "why is he lying about this?" - the fact that he is covering up non-events with lies makes me wonder if he is hiding something more serious. I have addressed it with him and bottom line is that he has admitted that she flirts with the men and admits to being a swinger, which has fueled my curiosity. I took a look at his texts and found that he has been texting her, but has hidden her phone number under a man's name. That's sneaky. The texts seem relatively neutral, but the whole thing is weird. I want to bring it up with him, but feel bad at the same time for looking at his phone. Am I justified in looking at my fiance's text messages on his cell phone? What do you think I should do?
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female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (15 April 2009):
 You are justified and you should confront him immediately. There is something going on or will be going on soon. Why is he saving her number under a man's number. He's sounds like a pro (that's a player skill). Sit him down and address it immediately. That behaviour is inexcuseable.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 April 2009):
I'm all for respecting privacy and everything but on the other hand he is acting in a very dodgy way.
There is nothing wrong with having a bit of a flirt at work as it's just fun, it means nothing, and it makes work less boring.
There is also nothing wrong with texting female friends when you are engaged.
It is the act of hiding it that is wrong, and you are very right that it could mean he's hiding something worse.
I think you just have to confront him. Admit that you went through his phone, let him have a bit of a rant at you, apologise, and then when he calms down then ask him what the hell is going on and why is he acting like he's having an affair.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Listen to your words. Logging a flirt partner in his cell under a man's name is the move of a player. Don't assume he's going to give up flirting for you nor for marriage. And safely be assured this Filing System of his is an indicator of much more my friend. All of us who've allowed ourselves to become committed to a man with these symptoms have regretted it! I think every woman who married a man with this exact same history before marriage would tell you to run like the damn wind. I am one of them!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): if u are his fiancee u should be ably to look in his text messages.... u need to confront him about these text messages and find out whats going on. ask him what hes doing ask him whats going on. if this girl is a swinger and flirts with the guys and work how many guys do u think she's texting and posible actually having relations with. let him know u love him and ur a woman that only wants to be with him. if he wants to be curious and mess around with this girl who doesnt love him and doesnt want to be with only him then let him. to tell u the truth i think if he figured he had to put this girls number under a guys name then there is something to hide or else he wouldnt have did that. (thats what i think)
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