A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was at a party this past weekend with my wife and in the middle of the party I lost my wife. When I tried to find her, she was nowhere to be found. Finally, I went out to chekc our car and she wasn't there. Ont eh way back I noticed a guy sitting in a car with his head back, I looked closer and found out that my wife was going down on him. I immediately opened the door and pulled her out and proceeded to do the same to him and beat the crap out of him. I got arrested in the process.Anyhow, now my wife is apologizing saying it was the booze, but I just can't get it out of my head. I think we are heading for divorce. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Okay, first I dont understand why you beat up the other guy - he just accepted what was being offered for free...!
Sorry, I dont accept that it was due to all the alcohol she drank.... she knew what she was doing and now that you caught her, she is saying she is sorry.
I dont buy this one.... and I dont think this is the first time she has done something like this.... she was at a party WITH YOU and she went off to give some guy a bj!!
Sorry this woman has no respect for you at all.
Oh.. by the way.... does she ever give you blow jobs????
A
female
reader, sammyo +, writes (11 May 2010):
I agree with q1605, don't kiss her. If she tries to kiss you, run for your life. If you choose to take her back she needs to be tested for STDs as soon as possible.
Putting myself in your shoes, I'd ask her one and only one thing....Dear, why exactly were you inserting another man's PENIS into your mouth while wearing that expensive ring on your finger?
Because, sure she was drunk, she may have forgotten who she was, and may have been abducted by aliens, possessed, etc.. but that wedding ring SHOULD have been worn the whole time to remind her of who/what/where she was.
She needs rehab for that drinking problem if she really did not know what was going on.
How do you know this is the first time she's gotten too tipsy to figure out the difference between a penis's urethral opening and a straw?
You'll be a big man to forgive her but there will need to be much clearer boundaries about what she should and should not do next time.
All my love to you dear
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A
female
reader, greenflower +, writes (11 May 2010):
Honestly, you know the answer to all of this. She came to the party with you. Drunk or not, she remembers that she was with you. Not enough alcohol in the world will make you forget that you are married, with your husband, etc.
You caught her this time. Since it was just a bj, if she had gone back to the party, and you wouldn't have been able to tell. Could she have done this before?
Do you know the guy who she did this with? Is he completely random or are you guys acquaintances? Who she cheated on you with makes a big difference too.
Divorce is a big decision. Can you forget this? I personally would never forget if I saw a different girl go down on my boyfriend when I was at a party with him (and he's just my boyfriend).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): ive read through all of the posts and on alot I agree but, My questions are... has she ever been unfaithful before? Has she ever given reason to doubt her love for you? How was your marriage (healthy I mean)?
Im by no means condoning what she has done. But, people do make mistakes.. Are they excusable? No. Can you get past it? Well that all depends on you.
I personally would go through counseling for both of you to move on. Its easy to walk away.. any relationship takes work and sometimes even more work.
I have made my share of mistakes and she hurt you badly, that does not mean a marriage is over. Had she been doing this continually then I would say get rid of her. But, in a drunken state certain things can be blurred. Not right im saying but blurred.
If it were you... would you want a second chance? Is there a time when you thought about cheating on her? Sending texts to other women? etc... im just saying rash decisions lead to bad outcomes.
sit back and consider everything.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Yuk! Sorry, drunk or not, that is unacceptable behavior for a married person to do. Being drunk is no excuse.
I'm sorry.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Your wife did this act being intoxicated with alcohol, but where were you when she disappeared. Not trying to defend her act but I think you should have been with her at time if she was that wasted, and you should have taken her home.
Anyways your wife has put you in a hard situation and only you know if you can't put this behind you and move forward.
There are men that forgives his wife after an affair and they are able to move on and be happy. There are also man who cannot think of the idea of taking his unfaithful wife back and will leave his home and file for divorce. Finally there is are husbands who are hurting but love their wife and decides to give her another chance and he realizes he cannot live with her anymore so they split up.
Your the one in love with your wife and you are the one who is going to have to make a decision I wish you the best. If you think you can put this behind you maybe you should give her another chance and go to counseling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): You can do better! Don't lower yourself to someone who would do that!
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Alcohol may let you let your guard down a little, but it doesn't make you do things you do not want to. To use alcohol as an excuse is stupid. To give you that excuse means she doesn't respect you. To do it in the first place means she doesn't respect you. Divorce her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): Not good. Not good.
can this woman be the mother of your children? I think now.
You are best without her
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 May 2010):
I have to be honest here. You were at a party, she got lost and was so pathetic that she actually just went to the back of a car knowing that you were there? I'd throw her out straight away. She clearly has no regard for you at all.
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