A
female
age
36-40,
*reedesire
writes:My name is Thelma. My boyfriend and I met a few years ago, we were friends for months before we ended up dating. We've been dating for over 2 years. He and I have never had sex, as of right now I am almost 26 and he was 2 years older than me. We never really talked in depth about it, we promised ourselves all will be when we are married; sometime I will flirt him if he can react feeling sexual attraction, he always told me "Whenever we're ready babe." I am his first girlfriend, his first kiss, and he is my first serious boyfriend. We have done pretty much everything except sex. Oneday we were together he was looking at a passing man in a lost attraction manner I notice it and ask him if anythings was right I can't understand the way he is looking at that man and forgot himself, he told me how he has a business with the man and there something he has been told the man said behind him. I believed him and I never suspected him in anything this incident happen again, I asked him if something was the matter him had better story to tell me to believe. Oneday, I decide to share this with my girl friend I told her there is this man my boyfriend always look at in a strenge manner that I can't really understand, when I asked him he tell me something to believe, and she told me she over heard her brothers saying my boyfriend is attracted to men. I thought maybe she was jealous and this almost end our friendship, but I was talking close watch on him there is no proof though that he was what I have heard about him. He lived not quite far from my friend area so oneday I decide to go behind me and found him with the same guy he always look at when we are together. I asked him he lied to me not knowing I saw him. I am not sure why he would be attracted to men for sex and then be satisfied; He had been doing this almost the entire time we've been dating but most active during the past few months. Once I found all my evidence, I told him the infamous, "We need to talk." and he insisted that he didn't do anything wrong, at all. That was until I showed him what I had found, then he admitted to it and was surprised that I had caught him. I just wish I knew why he did what he did, why he lied to me, and what I should do. I love him and I wanted to stay with him for the rest of my life, but I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life with someone who has lied to me about so many things including money. Maybe his lying and infidelity could be linked to his rough childhood. Minus the dishonesty, he has taken such great care of me and is always there. He was my BEST friend. We are very comfortable together and we usually get along great when we aren't bickering about stupid things. He promised me he would never hurt me, but he's broken my heart a few times, even after he gave me a "promise ring". We had our future planned together, we wanted to get married and have children. Neither of us really have too many friends, so we usually spend all of our extra time together, and he is always there to help me with homework or hold me when i'm emotional. I just don't know how I can one day have sex with and marry someone who is dishonest who I have given my trust to many times. I love him and believed him, but was wrong I just wish he could be honest and loyal. That's all I ever wanted. I've decide to end the relationshipI do not want to have a man that will be sleeping with fellow men...though he has promised to change but as much as I know it has get into him and will not be easy to give up this habit. He can't stop emailing me as this is the only means to contact me...what do I do I do not want to come in my life?
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best friend, flirt, infidelity, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, freedesire +, writes (24 August 2010):
freedesire is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks you all for your advice I now feel I have taken the right decision he only contact me through email and I think I will change my email address...I wish to meet an honest friend whom I will get to know better through the internet,
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 What he did was a "deal breaker" in my opinion. Any way you slice it, he cheated on you, whether it was with another man, or another woman; he lied, he deceived you; he was basically living a double life behind your back. He probably had planned to marry you, father a child and then force you to share custody of your child with him and his male lover. I feel so bad for what you've gone through, but you did the right thing to end the relationship. You've been living an "illusion". Change your email address and your phone number if he won't leave you alone. He is unscrupulous and will not change, no matter what he says.
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A
female
reader, kokeshi  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 your boyfriend maybe bisexual or gay but one thing he is ,is cheating.
marriage will not make him faithful nor will it make him honest.
I understand you isolation is making you feel like you have no other options.
all of your energy and thoughts seemed to be focused on pleasing this man when he is hurting you.
try making some friends take an evening class in something you are interested in and hopefully you will meet like minded people to spend time and have fun with.
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A
female
reader, DiamondGirlx +, writes (24 August 2010):
 jus carry on ignoring him and keepp him out of your life, he's gay and would only leave you for another guy so your better off with out him
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): Dump him. He is probably having an affair with this other man. You do not need this in your life. If you feel unsure or uncomfortable with him, then certainly don't think of children or marriage. There are plenty of echidnas in the outback!
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