A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For a while now I have really been into this guy. We had a little bit of new years eve romance and have been non-stop texting and chatting since. He came round tonight and there was a fair bit of passion, lets say. He has just told me he doesn't really want to be in a relationship right now and wants to keep things casual. I've said that that's cool and all.. my past tried relationships haven't been great, but I can't help feeling that I'll end up getting hurt by it all. What should I do?
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female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 I agree with the other aunts. You are setting yourself up for hurt. If you realy like the guy tell him that you do not do casual. If he knows from the beginning you will be more respected.
Have you thought why he only wants casual? Its seems a little strange. Does he want to sleep with other women while he is with you? Think of the health risks.
Most normally people are happy in one relationship at a time.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 You have to really figure out what you want in a relationship. If you're just going along with what he wants but inside really wishing for a relationship then yes, you will get hurt.
I don't know if it's something built in but I for one can not do casual relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I just get too attached and always work on building relationships. So, casual wouldn't work for me. But that is something I've learned over time.
When I was younger, I somehow thought these 'casual' guys would change their mind once they got to know me and were comfortable. (Yes, I know, as if I was some great catch). In the end I would be hurt because they never did change their mind and I always felt that there was something wrong with me...as to why they didn't want me.
What really hurt was having a guy who only wanted a casual relationship with me but then ended up marrying the next woman he dated. When he told her he wanted a casual relationship, she said, "no way, I want it all." I figure he respected her more because she respected herself.
I say, don't put yourself in that position. If you really want a relationship, stand your ground. You may not be with the guy but you will have your self respect AND you will avoid future hurt.
Take Care.
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