A
male
age
51-59,
*leeper12345
writes:Is my fiancee cheating on me? She is very happy to go to work every day. She is making lots of new friends and decided that she and I need to go out separately with our own friends. She went out of town a few weeks ago for the night with a "female" friend that she gets a ride to work with. I have still never met her. She came home and said she got drunk and her and her friend were pinching each other and that is why it looks like she has two really bad hickies on her neck. She is suddenly wanting to give me freedom but she really wants to go out with friends more frequently too. She swears the marks are pinch marks and not hickies. Can pinch marks on the neck look EXACTLY like a hickie? What do I do? She swears she is not cheating. We have a 5 month old little girl and I am nearly 40 and she is almost 21.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): Nanny cam time.... something's going on, might as well get it on tape...
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Okay. You're a man, and your female fiancee might be muff diving with another female. If I were you, I'd normally be inclined to quietly drop the marriage plans, but see if I could get-in on the action. But there is a child involved.
Well, you guys need to really talk this out. But you better be correct with your assumptions. If proven and admitted, you could always accept that she's bi and make a deal: You get to play too sometimes - with the two.
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A
female
reader, Aussie girl  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Mmmm sorry to say it but I agree with pinktopaz.I really don't think she's going to get a mark like a hickey any other way than how they are normally done.Where are you when she gets picked up/dropped off by this "friend" are you able to see for yourself if it is a female? And even if it is a female, doesn't mean she's not cheating with her.You have already confronted her about this so, I doubt she's going to fess up now so maybe it's time for a bit of detective work.I'm guessing that you are watching the baby when she goes out, so maybe the next time she goes out, tell her you thought you might take the baby and go and visit someone, but really organize a sitter and come home and sit out the front til she goes and follow her to where ever it is she goes and see for yourself what's going on, take a video or camera and get actual evidence.If and when you have evidence go home and think about whether you can get through this, then when she gets home ask her where she's been, did she have a nice time...Then once she's finished with her story of her night show her your evidence, try and be as calm as you can, if you are yelling and screaming you will get no-where, but if you're calm she'll know she's been busted and has risked everything.Then it's all up to you where you go from there, she's very young and really hasn't had the chance to "sow her oats" so to speak so this might not be the first or last indiscretion, can your relationship survive if she has cheated? And if you can forgive her or can't find any evidence but still feel there's something just not right, might be a good idea for you to use protection during sex.Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (10 January 2010):
Hmmm time to call Cheaters??? Yeah, it sounds pretty sketchy to me. I know girls can get drunk and do silly things like pinching, but they usually don't wind up looking like hickeys! She's REALLY young, so in all honesty she may not be ready to settle down. She's having to skip over the bar scene and going out with friends and go directly to being a mommy and wife.
I think what you need to do is either confront her one more time and tell her that this is serious and if she's cheating you need to know now. Or you can gather all the evidence you can against her that would prove she's cheating (don't let her know this) and when you're more than sure don't even ask her, tell her you KNOW she's cheating. You don't even have to give her details, but if she won't come clean then; that's when you show her your evidence!
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