A
female
age
36-40,
*ayne_staaa
writes:okay i know im gonna get some abuse from all angry pregnant teens or parents on this site, but i have a baby shaped hole that really needs filling, but im so torn i really want a baby more than anything but i really wanna get my career sorted first, im so torn career or baby and to have both i'll have to wait and thats not good for me! Also my partner has a low sperm count so it looks like I'll never have a chance to play mum it really sucks! Career first baby later? or baby first career later?
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female
reader, jayne_staaa +, writes (21 May 2009):
jayne_staaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou so much for all advice i think i should wait, i mean the baby thing won't go away but it's not like i'm on my last egg or anything lol, i think i'll need to earn a good wage in order to give a baby a comfy life
xx
thankyouu
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): I'm 19, pregnant and still living in a one bedroomed flat with my boyfriend. We live off one wage and jobseekers allowance and are struggling to get by for ourselves, let alone our baby but love is pulling us through and we're just about managing. If i could turn back time i wouldn't have ever had unprotected sex and i wouldn't be in this confusing, horrible position i'm in now. I would give anything to have a career and then a baby but its too late for me. I am however going to college in September, so it is possible for both to happen, just not easy at all. I'd suggest sorting every part of your life out, and make sure youre in a stable situation before thinking about children. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 I'm with Britt. Career first, baby later. Wait until you're something like 30.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Family is waaay more important than a career!!! Don't get sucked into the idea that career comes first. Honestly if you want to start a family, it would a be a great age to do so.
You also mentioned your partner doesn't have a high sperm count. Well start trying now because you dont know if you will be blessed later on in life.
As long as both you and your partner are sure you want this huge responsability, I say go for it. So long as the child will grow up in a secure family unit, with parents who are able to provide for it financially and emotionally all will hopefully work out for the best!
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A
female
reader, btflower  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 you should not receive any thing bad about saying or even thinking that. i would suggest you get your career first then baby. the way the world is today you need to make sure you have a strong foundation to support and care for a baby. they is alot of work that comes with a baby. choose your career first that would be a smart move. I wish you all the luck in the world
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Career or baby? I'm going to be honest with you and hopefully be able to help you with this tough decision....first of all, you're still young. I didn't have my first till I was 25. I don't understand your situation but I think you should make sure that you have a good stable job to be able to support your child. From personal experience, have finacial support first. Once you have a baby, your life will be dedicated to that child for the rest of your life. I am a single mom of two very active boys, I'm trying to go to school to broaden my career choice...I already did the college thing once....and let me tell you, to try and find study time....almost next to impossible. Just trying to get any sleep especially with a newborn....good luck on that.
Don't do what I've done....pick a good career, one that you'd enjoy doing, not so much the pay, but if you don't enjoy you're job, then you might as well not have one, that's the the key thing to me. Trust me. I've had a lot of crappy jobs, the pay was there, but the enjoyment wasn't, the job didn't last. Make sure you can support the baby financially and most importantly make sure you have time for the little one. He or she will need your undivided attention.
But like I said before, you're still young, you have time. Career first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Career first, Baby later! If you consentrate on building a career, when you do decide it is time for a baby, you can better provide for him/her! If you do it in reverse, your financial situation could effect the babies whole life. I know it's hard to think about it in those terms but I wish I had waited.
I had my first child at 19, and by 21, I had two and was separated from thier father. I had to go on public assistance and was miserable. I began to realize all the things I had missed by getting married so young. N=Most of my friends were still partying, and it was hard for me to resist! There's more to the story...but I think you get the idea!
Raising children is the hardest thing to do successfully. Unless you are financially secure and money is no problem, it will cause so much difficulty. And money isn't the only concern. There are many many more...just think of the teenage years...and beyond!
Please consider your career first!
Good Luck!
Britt
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Career should always come first in my opinion. You need something for your baby to live off of and a part-time job in mcDonalds won't cut it. Think of all of the christmas presents and the clothes they go through in a week and constantly having to buy things for them that they can't do without. You want to have a comfortable lifestyle with that child as well. If you don't have money oviously all of it will need to go to the baby leaving you with not much. That can hurt your self esteem if you can't look after yourself properly as well. You might end up taking your unhappiness out on your child or partner.
Also, not to be cynical, but you are only 18-21, the partner you are with might not be the one you will marry. So you might end up with a guy who has a high sperm count later on.
Once you have a child, you can't have a career really. Enjoy career while you can.
Speak to your mum about it i think, see what she says.
Thats just my take on things, hopefully some teen mums can come on here and tell us how wonderful a life she has and how happy her child has made her. - no sarcasim.
See from anothers perspective.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (21 May 2009):
 its up to you really. i thought i was going to have a career first then baby, but god decided to give me baby first career later. im so happy w/my choice of being a mom. its up to you really. its super expensive so make sure that you can afford the lil one. they are ridiculously expensive. its what you think will be better for you and your family.
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