A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey guys my boyfriend and i hav been together for 4 years when we have sex we dont look at eachother ever!!!he took my verginity..we do hav great sex..when hes on top of me or going down on me the pillow goes over my face.when i go down on him the pillow goes over his face..and when im on top of him i just look up..idk but for some reason we cant look at each other..i would like for us to feel like were 1 while were having sex but its just uncomfortable to look at eachother..when were doing dogie style we talk dirty but thats the only time it happens..can some 1 help me on how we can fix this..thanx :)
View related questions:
the pill Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much guys
A
female
reader, nothing.lasts.and.nothing's.lost  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I think it can depend on if you're making love, in the romantic sense, or having more of a dirty round! I think perhaps although you're comfortable in having sex together, you lack a little confidence if you're unable to make eye contact at all. It's not wrong though, some people prefere to close their eyes, or not look directly at eachother, however I find eye contact, not all of the time but sometimes, can make the sex vastly better, more arousing and stimulating. Maybe you should try talking dirty while face to face during sex, just give it a go, and try kissing a lot so you are close to his face. If you want to start with eye contact then I guess you are going to have to be the one to start it, try not to be so embaressed about it :]
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 Good ,OP- you have your answer- You never make love in a slow,tender ,romantic way- you always chose to have sex in a more primal,physical,performational way . Which may feel great in terms of body sensations but it does not build closeness and intimacy-Start taking things slow, kissing a lot, giving a lot of time to foreplay and caresses. Just lay naked in each other's arms before doing the deed . Little by little your embarassment will dissolve. Right now it's like you identify sex with rough,strictly genital stuff- and keep the "nice " ( gestures of affection,eye contact,etc.) for out of the bedroom only. No wonder that you have trouble mixing the two areas.
...............................
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (16 May 2010):
I think it's significant that people, unlike animals, DO have a general preference for face-to-face lovemaking. In my mind, that's part of the difference between "making love" and "mating". (No, I don't even remotely think that's the "proper" way to do it. But across cultures, and through history, people tend to choose face-to-face positions more often than not.)
Some people may have a general sense of shame or guilt about sex, and don't want their face showing when they have sex. Are you and your B/F using sex in some way that violates your personal ethics? Others are especially embarrassed by what they look like - or imagine they look like - during orgasm. If your partner has done a good job, you really do NOT have control over what your body is doing!
Less commonly, it might be a fetish that you and your B/F have jointly developed. Or, it may even be some kind of a power-trip, where covering your partner's face actually dehumanizes him/her, and gives you a feeling of superiority and control.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 May 2010):
 Well, thinking back over some 45 years since my personal sex life began, I must admit that the issue of "looking at each other" was never much contemplated on my part, nor mentioned by more than a couple of partners. Of course, I've always "surveyed" the whole scene, but it seems that my eyes are rarely open during the climatic parts. And mostly, guess I concentrate mostly on the "feelings" as the recipient, or on the "giving" part when trying to please her.
Maybe some people need visual connection during sexual intercourse and more, but no one has ever complained that my eyes were closed much of the time. Yes, I look at her, and I know that the woman looks at me part of the time, and sometimes at the same time with a smile, but it just doesn't seem essential more than as needed to perform or entice.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell like wen i look at him wile having sex for some reason it dosnt feel right i hav to look away .. and since he took my verginity we never made love(nd what i mean by that is like nice and romantic) we just hav rough sex we never had sex under sheets or stay on the bed ... sometimes we dont even go on the bed ... its weird cuz when were not having sex we could look at eachother in the nude
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 I don't know if this helps, but looking at each other shouldn't be terribly complicated. There is nothing to be ashamed of. And then it's curious that both of you feel this way. It's not just that the girl is shy and won't look at him in the eye. It's both. Why does it feel uncomfortable?
...............................
|
