A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of about 5 months broke up with me a few months ago because he said he 'didn't love me anymore, he loved me as a friend'. Even though it was only 5 months I had completely fallen for him, and he fell for me, or so I thought. So I was heartbroken. We've kept in contact because we're good friends and recently we started to sleep together again because we are still very attracted to each other. I know he isn't sleeping with other girls because he doesn't sleep with women until he's in a relationship, and I'm not sleeping with others. This was going on for a while and we would text every single day. My feelings began to come back so I asked him why we weren't going back out because we were basically acting like a couple. He would get jealous seeing pictures of me with guys on nights out who were just friends. He said he understood and that he does feel more when we sleep together but he isn't ready for a relationship because he has a busy lifestyle. So we decided to stop so I wouldn't get hurt more. But now it has started again! And I know I am being weak and making the healing process take longer but I am still so hung up on him and I know he still likes me and we were so good together. I just don't know what to do. What do I do????
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 October 2009):
Oh dear. I'm afraid until you manage to break the cycle you're not going to get over him. I know it's not easy (I've been there). At least make sure you go out with some different people that you can spend some time away from him if it's that different. I just think you're going to make it a lot longer, or worse still never get over him, by doing what you're doing. It would be very sad if you couldn't move on, because you do deserve someone. But it won't be him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf I could stop doing it I wouldn't be having this problem. It's not as easy as ending all contact, we have a lot of friends in common and I want to stay friends with him. Plus we have tickets for a gig together at the end of the month that we got tickets for when we were together. We didn't want to be so immature as to not go now because we're not together. I know he still cares about me because he's said it, fair enough there is no love, but the chemistry is still there and it's very difficult to ignore :(
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 October 2009):
I agree with the post below. He's using you. Don't let him do this. Completely end all contact and give yourself time.
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A
female
reader, Rivermeetsanend  +, writes (3 October 2009):
For starters, stop sleeping with him. Don't disrespect yourself like that. I am sure he still cares for you, but if he tells you that he isn't in love with you anymore...well...he isn't! Guys are pretty cut and dry about that. Women like to read into things. Just take his word for it, leave him behind, and someone will come along that will love you just as much as you love him. You can sleep with him all you want to, but it will not mend your broken heart and only make things worse.
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