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female
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anonymous
writes:hi im a teen and i get upset every night thinking of my x boyfriend since we have not been together we have done things you would do if you was together and a few weeks after we did somthing together he went out with someone else and we have done things since he has been with his girlfriend aswell. sometimes he calls me lots of horrible things and treats me horrible i dont want to get over him and i have to many memories him to forget about him what should i do it doesnt seem that he wants to be with me but will do things and then shove me off we have loads in common and its 2 much to just drop :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe doesnt have a girlfriend now but it keeps happening after things
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): Sweetheart, you are too young to get so hung up on this boy who has disappointed you....I know you are hurting, but if you will just let him go, you will be so amazed at the wonderful men that you will meet in your future.
Each relationship that ends, opens the door to another. At your age, boyfriends are not meant to last, they teach you a little about yourself and what you like and then you keep on keeping on. Don't feel bad about this, he liked you, he is ready to be his own person and explore other relationships, you are clinging to him, and he is treating you badly because he feels guilty for hurting you, but he wants and needs to be free. Feel good that he chose to be with you for awhile in his life, it is no reflection at all on you that his feelings have changed....you are way too young to be settled into one relationship, or even to be sexually intimate as that carries a great emotional commitment that is difficult to maintain when you are your age and have so much of your life ahead of you.
Come on, be strong, keep walking with your head high, and get back to being you on your own, pursue your own interests and enjoy being a teen, you only get to be young once, enjoy! Be grateful for what you do have!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): First off, you sound like you're very young and it's near certain that you will end up moving on one day anyways.
But if you want to get the boy back there are some things that i'm going to assume that you are doing wrong from what you have described:
First off, at your age (and this generation) there is a game that usualy must be played in order to achieve your goals in relationships. He is pulling away from you and degrading you - this makes you want him more and dismiss all the bad because you inside want his respect. but what really is going on here is that you have low self respect for yourself.
Show him that you can live without him, go on with your life as if nothing is bothering you, reject him and make him feel with your small actions that you don't give a F**K about what he does and that you know that anyone is better than he is. Hold yourself high in his presence and/or around his friends. but don't make it show that you're trying too hard because this will show and make you look even weaker in his eyes.
Take care of yourself, dress well, make sure you're hygene is well. smell good with perfume. but again, don't make it obvious that it's for him. Let him think you're doing it for yourself or someone else.
This should start the ball rolling into your court, the rest is a waiting game to see if he bites for the bait. If and when he does you also need to be prepared for this part of the game to close the deal. Brush him off! that's right, still continue the "I dont care" attitude. make it known LATE in the conversation you may have with him that you MAY allow him back in your life but that you're going to need alot for him to be allowed back in your life.
After completing these instructions you will learn two lessons:
#1. You now will know why you felt the way that you did and should realize that this game can be played in your favor next time you want something from a man.
#2. You don't need him. You will learn that other people are interested in you and you should be started on the long proccess of learning self worth.
Best of luck, I know how it feels and it really sucks when someone shuts you out of thier lives but i've avioded so many of these break ups from playing the game better than and back at them, that I now have the control again and I can freely decide who I want to let into MY life...
Jon B.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): First thing hun, is to STOP giving into his needs. You need to realize you are NOT dating him anymore, and he is just using you. He doesnt care about you...he doesnt even like you. His behavior towards you should tell you to leave while you still have your dignity! You cant stay bound to him just because you have alot of memories, or alot of things in common. That is the past. You have to pick up the pieces and move on. He has a gf, and its time that you start moving forward with your life....without him! You cant be with someone that doesnt want to be with you! You deserve to be treated with respect and courtesy, so dont waste your time on someone who only wants you at his convience! We all have a first love that we will never forget. God gives us all first loves so we can learn from them. Its very rare that we end up marrying our first love...unless we meet them when we're in our 20s. The only way that you can start to begin the healing process, is to stay away from him, and have no contact with him whatsoever! Keep yourself busy, and just go out and have fun with your friends! Good Luck!
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female
reader, cseame  +, writes (4 February 2007):
 You should not see him at all...it will only make it harder for you so just stop seeing him for awhile...when he calls dn't answer...just hang out with your friends and do lots of exciting things to get your mind off of him...go out to party or sumthing...anything to get your mind of him...maybe join a club to meet other people...
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female
reader, lola manola +, writes (4 February 2007):
 aha, everyone feels like this. there an absolute ******* to you and yet you cant quite get over them. i still feel the same about some of my exes. itll take time, im not going to tell you to get over t cos u cant. find a nice new boy to take ure mind off it. then the best thing you can do it flaunt your gorgeous nice new boyfriend under his nose. this works wonders. show him you dont care will make you feel better. alternativly enjoy being single, boys are way to much hassle!! being single is just as good as having a boyfriend! xxxx
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