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*eartbrokenxx
writes: Hey guys, I know this will sound so stupid and idiotic but can you really be with someone you don't fully trust?me and my boyfriend have been through so much and i feel like an idiot when he doesnt pick up the fone and i stress out and get all tight chest feelings lyk i'm goin to throw up. at the same time as it makes me feel stupid it makes me feel so unhappy and i always, i mean ALWAYS feel lyk i should leave him but then it gets better and i think that i will some day learn to trust him, things that have happened to make me not trust him have been atleast a year ago and so now he thinks that its too old to be discussed or wateva, so now i feel lost like i have to leave him. he makes me so happy when im with him but sometimes when im layin next to him looking eye to eye i always see that girl in the middle of us like a biggggggg thing that i cant talk about.would it be silly to break up with him about something that happened a year ago? i dunno wat to do anymore, i cant leave him yet i cant be with him. 8-)xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 How would you feel if someone judged you for something that happened a year ago?
Your probable answer is, it happened in the past and at that time , I was stupid and did not think properly.I made a mistake.I have changed and I know it is wrong now.I have learned my lessons. Can you not forgive what happened in the past? Will you hold that mistake against me for life and forever? Does my sin merit a life imprisonment?
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reader, Georgia20  +, writes (20 January 2008):
I have always said you cannot be with someone you dont trust, its the main part of a good relationship. The mintute you go through your boyfriends phone check his emails and myspace is when you know things are not working. Now you can get past this but only if he is willing to help aswell but in this situation he does not seem bothered by the way he is treating you! you say sometimes your okay but most of the time he seems like you are unhappy so is it really worth being with someone that only makes you happy some of the time? you need to think about what you really want and ask yourself how much longer you can put up with his behaviour? but from what i am reading it sounds as though you could do and deserve much better!
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reader, Devilish Angel  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Yes, it is a big deal if you can't trust him. No, it's not dumb to be upset over something that happened a year ago. This is obviously a huge issue and you need to make him talk about it. Tell him how you feel and don't let him brush it off. Make him realize how important it is. If you feel this bad about it, maybe its better to find someone you can trust.
Don't let yourself be unhappy.
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reader, ronnien +, writes (20 January 2008):
How did you find out about the other girl? How did he respond? I was in the same exact situation last year and the reason I couldn't get over it was because he would only tell me what I already knew and then refused to discuss it anymore. He blamed me by saying that he could feel the tension and thought everything was going to remind me of her. I had no choice but to get over it myself, although he was on best behavior.
The one thing I should have done was spent time apart to miss him for a bit,(not to punish him) that would make you realize that she is gone from your life and wasn't as important as you make her out to be in your mind.
She wasn't better than you ,just different and now he's with you,so he probably realized what he almost lost. Don't keep it going, you're the only one still living in the past and missing the chance of a great future.
Good luck and let me know if this helps
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reader, Dawnie +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Well you either communicate with each other and resolve this issue of trust or you split up. At the moment you are very unhappy, maybe he is too. You need to get things in the open once and for all, and then decide what to do. The fact that your problems happened a year ago are irrelevant, its causing problems still and needs resolving. Good luck.
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