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female
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anonymous
writes: Is it possible to be in love with someone but not want to 'be' with them? My friends bf say he's in love with her but doesnt want to be in a relationship. surely if someone is in love with someone they'd want to be together? Opinions please, we are both confused! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, daughteroflilith +, writes (23 June 2006):
it depends on his situation. Maybe she is perfect for him in all ways but he doesn't feel ready to settle down. Right now i'm in that situation, i have met the true love of my life but i don't feel ready to settle down yet. I won't give up what is the best relationship i'll ever have but at the same time im having to give up my carefree single life for it. Maybe he is like this and just needs to grow up first. I believe that it is possible to meet the perfect person too early in life, so if he's young just try to bear this in mind
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 Well I dont think it is possible to love someone and then not be with them.(unless in different countries or the like) Love is about being together, and aching when you are apart, love is wanting to be near that person every second of evey day, love is just being there for for one another, love is so many different things, that I dont for one second think that someone can say they love anybody and not want to be with them. This guy is playing games. Your friend is best off without him, men sometimes say thigns to get what they want, and he obviously wants to keep her hanging in there for some sort of reason, but love isnt it.
xx
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (21 June 2006):
 Quite simply NO.
You cant be in love with someone and not want a relationship. That means either you are not in love with them, or its just lust and you know that a relationship will not bring any fulfilment apart from sex.
If you are in love with someone then you will have a physical and emotional desire to be with them. If he is in love with her as he says and does not want a relationship, he is not inlove with her. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2006): Generally speaking, when you are in love with someone, that person enhances your life, you naturally want to spend time with them, because you feel a better person. You want to know them intimately. When you are not with them, you miss them.
It is these feelings that make you want to have a relationship with them. The only reason (I can think of) why someone would say they are in love with someone, but that they don't want to be in a relationship is that they have never experienced what a loving relationship is like.
So many people have bad experiences of being with people, a lot of people, mostly young adults and teenagers, are yet to have actually love someone, and to be loved by someone. Any one that has, would know just how amazing it could be.
Perhaps your friend should think about her past experiences of men, and of relationships? I'm sure she could identity why she has a bad association with the word and idea of "relationship".
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